


Artist, Imitate Thyself

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Ace!Makoto (in future chapters), Angst level escalated from small to rather large, Artist AU, College AU, Feels, M/M, Makoto rescued, One Night Stands, Revelations, Rin - Freeform, Sou receives an art lesson, SouHaru, SouHaru trash, a few more tags to be added as I go, all shall love me and despair, kitten spam, koala!Rin (jk he's just in australia for MOST of this), lol that's in comparison to my other recent works only, not a huge amount though, pretending for a good cause, resolutions, sarcastic shit sousuke, sassy ass haru, testing the boundaries, the only one of them who's not an ass is Makoto tbh, this is going to be fairly quick and dirty, totally excessive drinking, unplanned all-nighters, warning there will be small amounts of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3261662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As an art student, Haru knows about gradients and spectrums.  He wonders sometimes, when he's getting it on with a random guy after a night of drinking, if there's such a thing as being hyper-sexual.  Like, the opposite of having no interest...  Maybe that's just called obsession though...  Haru really doesn't need another one of those.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maybeillride](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeillride/gifts).



This is all the SouHaru [Desperate Measures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2699279/chapters/6041108) didn't have.  It's dedicated to/inspired by/a tribute for the amazingly talented [maybeillride](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeillride/pseuds/maybeillride), who's [You and me could write a BAD romance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2602475/chapters/5797256) makes me want to be a better person.  I hope you enjoy it darling! <3

Btw, the title is just my own pathetic attempt at a play on words, you know, the whole, "Healer, heal thyself" thing...  So, yeah...  It'll make sense eventually...  And if not then feel free to yell at me.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Haru registers when he wakes up, is that he's a lot warmer than he should be. The firm muscles pressed against his back and the arm snuggled around his torso take a moment more to hit home.

Shit.

He's really done it now.

Well, that was kind of the point, wasn't it? He's not in this to make friends. The whole purpose of going to the party, a _frat_ party, was to find someone to have sex with.

He didn't mean to wake up in a strange apartment with them wrapped around him though... Of course he's also realizing belatedly that he doesn't remember much of the act itself. He can't really picture the face of the person currently using him as a living teddy bear. The guy feels like a pretty solid hunk of a man behind him, which, in and of itself isn't a bad thing. Haru just hopes he isn't a dick about this.

He's been in college for a year and a half now, so he's certainly heard stories. One night stands gone wrong, relationships gone wrong, friendships gone wrong...

A stirring of the form behind him draws his focus back to the present. He's pulled even more closely to the chest cradling him for second, and a gigantic hand cups one of his pecs. Haru blushes, even though worse than this certainly took place the night before.

Might as well bite the bullet.

Haru turns over to rest on his back, so they can finally get a look at each other. Though, to be fair, it may not be that his companion was so incredibly shit-faced that he doesn't remember what Haru looks like either.

When their eyes meet, Haru cannot believe there was any amount of alcohol in the world that would make him forget this face.

“Nanase...”

“Yamazaki.”

Haru's statement comes out sounding shorter, even for being a longer number of syllables. Sousuke just looks at him in shock, his eyes getting wider by the second. And it's several of them, full of silence, before either of them move. Haru just blinks, like it will clear the image before him and replace it with a new one.

“Oh my god, I must have been so fucking sloshed” Sousuke groans, finally seeming to snap out of it.

Haru's immediate instinct is to be offended, and he frowns.

Sousuke snorts.

“Come on, don't tell me you were expecting to see my mug when you rolled over like that” the larger man asks.

“I didn't know what I'd see” Haru admits, but still sounds petulant.

“Oh, do this a lot do we?” Sousuke asks. A smirk that Haru doesn't quite know what to make of runs across his features.

Haru crosses his arms over his chest.

“That's none of your business.”

“Suit yourself” Sousuke says with an overly nonchalant sigh. His gaze stays trained on Haru though, and for some reason, the smaller man can tell it's not in appreciation.

He's not vain, Haru just knows a lot of guys think he's pretty, beautiful even, depending on where their standards are... But the look on Sousuke's face doesn't seem like he's best contemplating how to get a 'round two' out of this.

“I don't think I have any fish” Sousuke tells him evenly, then abruptly rolls to get out of bed.

“What?” Haru keeps the sheet from slipping below his waist with Sousuke's movement. It's not that he feels particularly vulnerable or anything, it's just, this whole situation is _weird_. And that's saying a lot, coming from him.

“I'm going to make some grub, but I'm just letting you know, I don't have any mackerel on me, so eggs will have to do” Sousuke stretches as he stands, keeping his back to Haru.

It's an impressive sight.

Not that Haru's _looking_.

“Do you make breakfast for all your one night stands?” Haru asks sarcastically, because he's having a hard time taking his eyes off Sousuke's surprisingly defined ass.

“Actually, yeah” Sousuke tells him, tone light, but sounding serious. “You never know if you're going to have a class with that guy next semester, or if he'll be the professor's assistant who grades all the papers...just better to play it cool.”

“You're serious... You really get around that much?” Haru watches a pair of boxer briefs slide on over the view, and it's really not as helpful as he would have hoped.

“Look, I'm trying to keep this casual, but if you're going to keep insulting me, you can just get the fuck out, Nanase” Sousuke says as he turns around.

Unfortunately for Haru, he still hasn't been able to raise his gaze above crotch level, and is blatantly, unequivocally _caught_ looking.

“You are unbelievable, you know that?” Sousuke says with a scoff, though it doesn't sound like he's offended anymore. He has his hands on his hips while he stares Haru down, but the gesture doesn't look feminine at all, coming from him.

“You have an amazing ass” Haru replies, hints of his normal deadpan showing through now.

“ _I_ have?... Look, do you want the eggs or not?” Sousuke asks him, clearly beginning to lose whatever small patience he may have had for this.

Haru shrugs, because he is pretty hungry, but he has no idea what he might be getting into with that. Sousuke just rolls his eyes and walks past him out the bedroom door, leaving Haru on his own for a moment. He takes the granted solitude as a moment to gather up his clothes, but he doesn't find anything except underwear and a single sock. Even if it was a total stranger's room, Haru would be uneasy about poking around too much.

With it being Sousuke's, he opts to leave the sock for a lost cause, and hope his other garments are somewhere in the rest of the apartment.

Sousuke is not wearing an apron while he cooks, and Haru lets his disapproval show while sliding onto a bar stool. Not that he expected this to be a world class meal or anything. When Sousuke's done cracking the eggs, he whips them up and then butters the frying pan.

“It's better if you put milk in them” Haru doesn't bother to keep the 'correcting' tone out of his voice. He does spot his pants though, and decides to hop down and retrieve them.

“I wasn't going to waste it on you” Sousuke informs him.

“You have to eat them too, you know” Haru says helpfully, shimmying into his jeans.

Sousuke grunts from behind the counter.

“You're right, my mistake. I should have used the milk, and just spit in yours.”

Haru doesn't see his shirt jumping out at him, so he spares a flat look in the direction of the stove. Just as hoped, Sousuke is looking at him for a reaction.

“We had sex last night, I'm pretty sure there's worse bodily fluids of yours inside me than just _saliva_ ” Haru retorts.

Sousuke holds his gaze for a moment, as if by sheer will alone he will be able to think of a comeback snappy enough to win against that. He doesn't say anything though.

He just smiles.

And then he _winks_ at Haru.

The bastard.

Haru can feel his face heating up, and he huffs, going back to the search for his shirt. He spots the corner of it peeking out from the back of the couch, where it had almost fallen behind. He roughly pulls it on, not sparing any thought for how it might have gotten there.

Sitting back down, Haru watches Sousuke's ridiculously thick arms finish cooking. The smaller man scowls while the larger keeps grinning to himself.

“You know, if all it actually takes is a little sexual innuendo to break that mask of yours, maybe I _can_ see how we ended up in bed together” Sousuke practically coos at him in his confidence.

Haru feels an overwhelming urge to go kindergarten on his ass, and fling the freshly dished out eggs at Sousuke's stupid grinning face.

But that would be a waste of effort, since it wouldn't be _winning_ for Haru.

So instead he pretends to ignore the comment, and eats the eggs with a flustered frown. And no, thank you very much, nothing about some freaking innuendo explains this.

Sousuke is watching him eat with a mockery of rapt attention, like he knows exactly how much being _stared at_ gets to Haru. Haru refuses to give into it though. Keeping his face blank, he stares calmly back, chewing each bite slowly.

“How is it?” Sousuke asks after a few mouth fulls, like he fucking cares or something.

Haru takes a moment to answer him, calculating.

“It's not the worst thing I've ever eaten.”

Shaking his head, Sousuke makes a disbelieving sound.

“I imagine not, being friends with Tachibana.”

“What's _that_ supposed to mean?” Haru bristles.

“The dude's a walking fire hazard, don't even try to deny it” Sousuke rudely points his chopsticks at Haru.

“He's not that bad” Haru says defensively.

“I've _seen_ him use a microwave, I was there for a lecture during the infamous 'math hall incident'.”

“...That fire hardly even spread” Haru grumbles, “...It didn't even cause any structural damage.”

“You can't deny it, Nanase. Even you. You'd probably rather suck cock than eat anything that guy tried to cook” Sousuke says challengingly.

“Eat me,Yamazaki” Haru glares back, the tension crackling between them.

Which of course, somehow leads to Haru bent over Sousuke's counter, pants around his ankles, unable to remember how he got scrambled eggs in his hair, but not particularly caring. Sousuke's tongue is pulsing in and out of his ass with fucking _precision_ , and it's all Haru can do to keep from leaving a puddle of drool on his kitchenette.

So maybe he doesn't need to have an explanation. Maybe, in this, just like in most of Haru's sexual escapades, the pleasure is enough in and of itself to explain it.

Especially when Sousuke's dick turns out to be nearly as thick as his disgustingly over muscled forearms. Well, _almost_ , anyway. Haru gets a feeling in the back of his brain, like he _should_ already know this... At least he's sober enough at the moment to appreciate being split in half by the tree trunk of a length.

It's a lot to take spur of the moment, even for Haru, who's adventures in masturbation over the years have pointed more and more in the direction of having a definite 'size' kink... It's not like you can control what size of junk a random conquest will have, after all.

“Shit, you took that so easy...” Sousuke grunts over top of him. Like he's maybe actually slightly impressed with something Haru's done for the first time in his life.

Haru just grunts and bends his knees, hooking his calves around the backs of Sousuke's thighs and pressing him in even closer.

Sousuke returns the grunt, adding a little growl to his reply.

“God... That was such a slutty thing to do...” Sousuke tells him, taking the hint and starting to move.

Haru gasps, turning his head to rest the other direction, as if that will cover the noise.

“I'm not a slut, your cooking was just _so amazing_ I felt the need to repay you” Haru goads even as he's being entered again. Sousuke finishes the stroke with a powerful motion, smashing into Haru's hips much more forcefully than necessary, and setting a brutal pace afterward.

Haru's sass turns into a guttural moan as he's ground into oblivion against the counter top. His prostate is going to be _dust_ after this, he just  knows it. He isn't going to be able to sit down for the rest of the day. He may not even be able to walk. And he's going to come so fucking hard it's goddamned worth it. 

The spray of his pleasure lands on the laminate flooring and fake wood paneling indiscriminately.

Sousuke pulls out of him, a gesture that seems almost kind...until he follows it immediately by smacking Haru's ass and coming all over it.

Rude.

“What the fuck, Yamazaki, is this a porno or something?” Haru frowns, even though he's mostly limp from his orgasm and at the other man's mercy. “You better not be taping this shit...”

“No, just a mental recording, that's all” Sousuke grins.

Haru feels a hand  _ruffle_ the hair on the back of his head, and he magically summons the energy to shoot a scowl over his shoulder.

When Sousuke's pleased demeanor doesn't fade, Haru lays his head back down with a “Whatever.”

 

It's three weeks before Haru gets that feeling like 'the urge' has built up too much again. He's not going without getting off that entire time or anything though. Oh no. The way his brain buzzes with responsibilities and deadlines and the haze that comes sometimes from trying to _force_ creativity... Well, there's nothing else that's going to help him fall asleep in that state but a good mind-numbing orgasm.

_The urge_ as he defines it, it's more than just having his ass filled and coming hard. He wants to kiss until his lips are swollen, which drunken make-outs are great for. He wants to suck on a nipple and roll it in his teeth, hear all the little noises that are harder to hold back when intoxicated. Haru just wants to feel another _person_ against him sometimes, without having to worry about what they think of him.

He already has too many people in his life that he's found he needs to impress.

Haru has a system when it comes to these things, and it works pretty flawlessly, he has to say. Clean and showered, he hits the party in his normal clothes, no extra effort expended. It's not his attire that determines success, but the amount of alcohol. He's not the tallest guy in the world, but he's got enough muscle that it takes a few shots to hit him, loosen him up.

Not being incredibly picky helps with the process too. It's basically first come first serve when Haru gets in his mood. After four rounds, he's properly apathetic enough to initiate the process himself. Since no one's approached him yet while at the bar, he'll move to the dance floor.

Dancing is not a skill, it's a _state_ when you're drunk.

And coincidences are fortuitous, not cause for suspicion.

When Haru turns and pushes off his bar stool, he only narrowly misses colliding with a brick wall.

“I thought that was you...” the brick wall speaks, its teal eyes looking amused.

Haru recovers with more grace than your average tipsy party-goer.

“Let me guess, you were about to 'wow' everyone with what you learned in last semester's interpretive dance class” Sousuke asks, smirking down.

Haru doesn't take his comment seriously, everyone knows _dance_ is a completely separate major from art.

“Nope. Just on my way to look for a big dick with loose morals. Seen anyone like that around?” Haru asks, sparing an appreciative glance for the skin tight shirt hugging every chiseled plain of Sousuke's chest.

There's a running calculation in Haru's head, of the body language, the effort initiated, the tone of voice being used here. It all points to Sousuke being interested enough in fucking him again for this to have potential.

Plus, there's the _vivid_ memory of what happened on the man's kitchen counter last time, to tip things out of the “meh, why not” and into the “yes, let's” category for Haru.

“I may know someone like that” Sousuke says, staying noncommittal only because the 'assumption' is part of the flirting.

“Having a large penis would be a perk too” Haru drawls, pushing buttons.

“You are such a sweet talker, Nanase, has anyone ever told you that?” Sousuke asks sarcastically, taking a step closer to him.

“I'd rather put my mouth to better use than just _talking_ ” Haru informs him.

“No offense” Sousuke leans over, towering into Haru's personal space, pitching his voice for just the two of them, “But as pretty as your little lips are, I'd rather come balls deep inside your ass...”

Haru swallows thickly before answering.

“My place or yours?”

He could get used to this almost _disdainful_ flirting thing he has going with Sousuke, it's kind of refreshing to just say the first thing that pops out of his mouth and be rewarded for it...

And oh, the rewards are many.

Haru gets to tug on Sousuke's hair, bite at his lips, feel smooth skin turn to gooseflesh under his teasing. The game of 'make out on every surface between the front door and the bed' is fast becoming a favorite of his too.

“Damn, you're so sensitive” Sousuke mouths against his neck, dragging another moan from Haru with the knee pressed between his legs. Haru rocks his hips against Sousuke's thigh shamelessly, breathing hotly against his neck.

“That's because I'm horny and want to fuck” Haru hisses out.

Sousuke captures both his arms, and pins them up against the wall where they're making out in the hallway.

“You mean you didn't come here for the witty banter?”

The taller man just has a way of making the sarcasm so _hot_ , Haru is having a far better time than normal with this.

“If you think you can do both, then by all means...” Haru does his best to imply that multitasking isn't something one would normally expect from a man like Sousuke. From the look in his eye, Haru guesses the implication didn't go over his head.

“Oh, I assure you, I can use my mouth at the same time, just fine” Sousuke grins at him.

“Prove it” Haru issues the challenge.

“You want to bet on it?” Sousuke's grin is just getting bigger and bigger, and Haru has the distinct feeling that if he agrees to the bet, _He. Will. Lose._

Which is really a win-win for him.

“Yeah, I think I do” Haru pushes back against the grip on his arms slightly as he says it. Sousuke holds firm for a moment, but then his grip slackens, as if giving Haru a chance to pull away if he really was wanting to. But Haru doesn't take the opening.

It doesn't escape Haru's attention that it takes only one of Sousuke's hands to keep both his wrists pinned.

With an almost disinterested wandering, Sousuke's free hand pinches at Haru's nipple.

“What should we bet then?” he asks, holding Haru's gaze as well.

“Ah! Um, breakfast? Ohh... Who cooks it?” Haru gasps while suggesting.

“Deal” Sousuke hauls him off the wall with a sudden motion, disorienting Haru a bit, but not overly so. He has been here once before, after all.

On Sousuke's bed, Haru lays a naked, half drunken mess, while the man rummages through a drawer.

“Preference on condoms?”

“Just use one” is Haru's only real consideration.

“Lube?”

“You're the one putting your mouth to work, aren't you?” Haru replies with a snort, because he couldn't give less of a crap about _flavors_ , as long as Sousuke _comes through_.

“Do you want a cock ring?” Sousuke asks like it's the last question of the evening.

That gets Haru's attention.

“ _Please_.”

 

Haru decides that having to cook breakfast the next morning is a totally fair trade off for getting to be fingered within an inch of his life. It's just, Sousuke's mouth is so _fucking_ hot around his cock, he's so god damned deep inside him with those fingers. Haru's never had digits so massive shoved so far up inside him. It's a stretch, he can feel the burn, and he loves it.

Besides, since Sousuke can take near the entirety of Haru's cock in his mouth at once, the issue of 'sensations' is a moot one. He's been crept up to the edge of coming twice already, only to have it denied by the vicious, lovely circle of silicone around the base of his cock. The nice thing about the toy is, it takes the need for Sousuke to have a certain level of skill or knowledge of Haru's body out of the equation. Haru can let him forge right through as roughly as he can stand it, and the game doesn't end.

But god, Sousuke, he's just so god damned deep inside him, Haru can barely believe it. In fact, he can't believe it. Though it's _effort_ in his current state, Haru sits up enough to rest on his elbows, wanting to see what's going on down there.

And what he sees is Sousuke's wrist disappearing into his ass.

“Fuck... Sousuke... I... I need to come. I need to come...”

Haru can hear the whine in his voice, knows that Sousuke will hear it too, and he knows that he just _fucking lost_. But he doesn't care.

Sousuke slowly draws his face off Haru's dick, giving one last little suck to just the head as he does.

And shit, that's three times now that Haru's been denied.

Sousuke slips his hand out of Haru at the same time, and two thoughts run through Haru's head. First, that he may actually black out when he finally comes, and second, that his ass is going to smell like strawberries for a week after this.

He's in no condition to question the fresh lube Sousuke smears over his own dick though.

When the taller man slides into him, the look on his face is _rapturous_ , and Haru arches anew at the intrusion. Thankfully Sousuke makes a point of gently removing the cock ring from Haru's length before starting to move.

“My god this ass just goes on and on” Sousuke grunts, his pelvis pressed flush against Haru's.

Setting his stance, Sousuke gives Haru all of three tries to get used to taking it to the hilt. Then this intensity settles over him, and it's all Haru can do to hang on to his thrusting form. It's spine tingling and toe curling. It's such a good, hard, _fuck_ that Haru shouts brokenly, voice ragged and strained when he finally does come.

Sousuke is too big of a 'presence' for him to really be able to keep going like this once Haru's orgasm is over. Thankfully the force of nature pounding into him comes just as Haru's coming down. It's one of the few times in Haru's life that he's ever had the very real question of 'is this too much?' run through his mind.

A surprisingly gentle kiss on Haru's lips punctuates Sousuke's cock finally sliding out of him. Haru makes a little involuntary noise as it leaves.

“I can't believe you fucking fisted me” Haru says in exhaustion.

“You didn't tell me to stop. I thought you'd say something if it was too much... You were certainly being _vocal_ enough” Sousuke sounds like he's grinning. Haru can feel the man running fingers through his hair, but he can't summon the energy to open his eyes.

“Let me shove my forearm up your anal cavity, and we'll see how vocal _you_ are” Haru huffs.

Sousuke chuckles a little, but he doesn't respond to that particular suggestion. There's a sort of prodding sensation on Haru's arm, and the feeling of it being moved. He _is_ kind of sprawled where the orgasm left him still, but isn't in a state to do anything to change it.

“If you want me to move, you'll have to do the moving” Haru admits, but tries to make it come off in as snarky a tone as possible.

“Ok, I'm going to move you then” Sousuke says.

Two seconds later, Haru knows why he was given the warning. It's not that large of a bed, Sousuke's feet probably hang off it even when it's just him... So apparently the big guy's solution is to reverse their positions, maneuvering Haru's limp form onto his chest in one quick motion. The suddenness of it gets Haru to open his eyes, but that's about it.

“What the fuck” he grumbles tiredly.

“You're fine” Sousuke tells him, “There's not a lot of room.”

“We fit last time” Haru retorts, but doesn't move.

“I like it” Sousuke smooths a hand down Haru's back, “When I melt a guy like this... The weight...”

Sousuke's hand cups Haru's ass, like he's accenting his statement and the fact that Haru is boneless now.

Haru guesses he can understand that. It's not a huge imposition or anything anyway. He doesn't try to respond, or stay conscious, he just slips into a satisfied slumber a few seconds later.

 

When they wake up, Haru is still flopped over Sousuke's chest, and the warm heat the two of them are producing makes him almost want to fall back asleep. Sousuke, unfortunately, is not on the same page in this.

“So, what do you want for breakfast this time?” he yawns while asking.

“You'll eat whatever I make you” Haru grunts sleepily.

“Um, I think it's pretty obvious that I won” Sousuke argues, though neither of them have really _moved_ yet.

Haru isn't even going to waste time in trying to deny that.

“Right, and the loser makes breakfast” he replies.

“I thought whoever won _got_ to make breakfast” Sousuke tells him.

“That's stupid” Haru deadpans.

“Well, fuck you too” Sousuke responds right away.

“Wow... Has anyone ever told you you're a real sweet talker, Yamazaki?” Haru mimics.

Sousuke snorts at him, clearly amused, but trying to hold it back.

“You really suck at making wagers.”

Haru lifts himself off Sousuke's chest so he can see his face, and is happy his arms are back to functioning normally.

“If you're so much better, you should have known to define things ahead of time” he accuses.

“We were _drunk_ ” Sousuke raises an eyebrow, like this whole conversation really might be as ridiculous as it sounds.

Haru rolls his eyes.

“I only had four shots, I wasn't _that_ drunk” he informs him, finally rolling off of the prone man. While Haru tests his body's reaction to various things like 'moving' and 'sitting up', Sousuke regards him with a calculating stare.

“Where's your bathroom?” Haru asks, since there's a break in the posturing.

“Are you sure you can walk?” Sousuke asks.

Haru responds by standing, giving himself a moment to steady his balance, and then walking to the door. Once he reaches it, he turns to give Sousuke his best 'well? I'm waiting...' attitude. It's the second time he's seen that mildly impressed look on Sousuke's face. Teal eyes regard him for a moment, then sweep up and down his body with all the 'appraising' indicators he never gave last time.

“Are you going to tell me where it is, or do I have to piss in one of your shoes instead?” Haru asks, not knowing what to do with the sober attention. Plus, he really does have to _go_.

Sousuke's look flattens, promising regret if that action takes place.

“The door on the left” he says, full sarcasm in place again as he tips his head toward the hall.

Haru starts to leave, but sticks his head back inside the doorway when he thinks of it.

“And don't start cooking without me.”

When Haru is done cleaning himself up, he finds Sousuke already in the kitchen, but not cooking. He also finds his pants, so that's a bonus.

“Please tell me you're not actually so uncivilized that you don't _own_ an apron” Haru begins with, scowling at the tea pot already set to boil.

“No, I just wash my clothes regularly, so it's not an issue” Sousuke says snidely.

Haru pushes him out of the kitchen, which is small, so he actually has room to prepare some food.

He can feel Sousuke's eyes on him while he cooks, watching him search around for pans and ingredients, and just being generally all-around unhelpful to the effort. It's not uncomfortable though.

Even once the food is served, they eat in a quiet rhythm.

“So...” Sousuke finally speaks when they're almost done, “You're really fine? Like, it doesn't hurt at all?”

Haru has to admit, he assumed his cooking was about to be insulted, not that he was about to be asked something like _that_. He frowns a tiny bit, letting his brain shift gears.

“I'm good... You are only _human_ , you realize that, right?” Haru flicks his gaze down to where Sousuke's lap would be below the counter.

“It's just, some guys back out, once they see... No one's usually as 'fine' as this” Sousuke makes a vague gesture in Haru's direction.

Suddenly a thought occurs to Haru.

“So that's what the breakfast thing is really about?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“It's the least I could do, most of the time...” Sousuke trails off with a shrug. He doesn't look up at Haru, but it doesn't hide the tiny blush he gives.

“Well, I have a dildo that's about the same size... So I'm pretty much used to it” Haru shrugs back.

_That_ gets Sousuke to look up at him.

Haru didn't think to blush over his statement until he sees the look on Sousuke's face.

“Ok...” is all the man says, like he can't quite come to terms with the fact that Haru is absolutely, completely serious.

Haru shrugs again, and hopes focusing on eating will help his blush pass more quickly.

Since Sousuke goes back to eating too, he figures the moment has passed.

“So, I'm just going to throw this out there...” Sousuke starts a few seconds later, sounding so casual it's almost funny.

Haru sets down the bite he was just about to put in his mouth, waiting to see exactly where this is going.

“We should trade numbers.”

Haru raises an eyebrow.

“Look, I'm not saying tattoo each other's names on our asses or anything. I just think, when shit lines up like that sometimes... A person should take advantage of it, that's all. I mean, the odds of both of us both being horny again at the same time in the future are fairly high” Sousuke tells him with a no-nonsense attitude.

“So, just for sex” Haru verifies, finding himself strangely not _immediately_ rejecting the idea.

“Exactly” Sousuke nods.

“Like I said, I have the dildo” Haru says in a 'counter move' sort of tone. He feels like he needs for there to be a little more to this conversation, to watch Sousuke's eyes for a moment while they discuss it.

Sousuke leans back just slightly from his plate, crossing his arms over his chest as if he knows they're negotiating.

“It's not the same” he says in a tone that conveys total and complete _knowing_. And damn, Haru can't exactly argue with _that_.

“I can pick up random guys as easily as anyone” Haru points out.

“Not like _this_ , you can't” Sousuke grins, gesturing downward with his own eyes, not possibly meaning anything but the size of his dick.

Haru is fighting a losing battle to keep his face blank.

“You know, 'smug' isn't a good look on you” is the only response he can think of, turning his head away slightly as his blush returns.

“Yes it is” Sousuke states with supreme confidence.

Shit, he's really got Haru pegged now, doesn't he?...

The thing is, it _would_ be amazing to have access to this kind of epic level sex with regularity. Before he even realizes in his own mind that he's agreed, Haru finds himself just _knowing_ he's going to abuse this power... But from what Sousuke's saying, he probably won't mind getting booty called fairly often...

“You had better not spam me with kitten pictures and chain mail” Haru huffs as he pulls out his phone. “I get enough of that stuff already...” he mutters almost to himself. Thankfully his phone _is_ in the pocket of his pants like he last remembered.

Sousuke is obviously much more pleased than he's trying to let on. It's fine though. Haru would be too, if he was getting potentially regular access to an ass as talented as his.

“What about dick picks?” Sousuke asks.

“You're not my boyfriend” Haru says bluntly.

Sousuke holds his hands up in surrender, seeming amused.

“I'm just trying to see where the line is, that's all.”

“If I get a message from you, I'm assuming it's because you want to fuck within the next thirty minutes or so” Haru lays out for him.

Sousuke raises an eyebrow at the time frame, but then tips his head as if deciding it's something he can deal with.

“Works for me.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Haru spends his studio time making up different thicknesses of plaster, labeling them and setting the hand chosen gradient up to dry. He's learned that when it comes to being _graded_ on art, sometimes being methodical is necessary, even though it can't necessarily replace inspiration.

His world consists of little but plaster and the water for the next few days, working on his year end project. It's early of course, only fall now. But he's not one to put things off once he gets an idea of what he wants to do.

Thus it's actually an entire week before he and Sousuke hook up again. Haru kind of got the feeling it was going to be on him to initiate it the first time, which was fine. He likes the space and the small amount of consideration it implied.

When he gets to Sousuke's apartment, the first thing he notices is the temperature. It's just as cold inside as the brisk breeze blowing outside today.

“Heat's broken. The landlord won't be able to get it fixed until tomorrow” Sousuke tells him, wearing a sweatshirt indoors. Haru shrugs, because they'll be warm enough in a few minutes.

“How do you feel about the couch?” Sousuke asks.

Haru doesn't have any feelings on it at all, and lets that show on his face.

“I just mean, the bedroom's even colder, since the windows face the wrong way” Sousuke informs him.

The temperature in here is pushing it as it is, so Haru agrees with the change in venue.

“The couch is fine then. It's not very big though... You might have to just sit while I ride you” Haru muses. As he takes off his jacket and sets his bag by the door, he examines the piece of furniture from across the room.

“I... If you think that will work...” Sousuke sounds just the tiniest bit flustered at the thought, not giving a normal snappy comeback.

Haru takes off his shirt to get ready, and shivers a bit when the air hits his bare skin.

Sousuke slips off his house slippers right there too, but then Haru grabs him and urges him over to the couch.

“Hurry up” Haru tells him, pulling on Sousuke's pants. He knows the quicker they get into this, the quicker they'll be warm again.

Sousuke slides off his pants, and tosses his sweatshirt on the other end of the cushions.

“It's funny, most guys are pushier and more insistent when they're drunk, not sober” Sousuke points out.

“I'm getting pushy because it's fucking freezing in here, not because I'm sober” Haru gets goosebumps over his skin again when he pulls off his jeans.

Sousuke sits down on the couch, naked now and already half hard.

“I don't suppose your place is an option?” he asks, even though they've already come this far here.

Haru straddles him once he's naked too, and shakes his head.

“No. Makoto's home right now” he says, taking Sousuke's length in his palms. Sousuke rubs his hands over Haru's thighs, up his sides, across his back, adding a very real contribution to the effort to get warm.

“I know the guy comes off as totally innocent and everything, but he can't even handle a little bump and grind going on in the next room?” Sousuke asks in a disbelieving tone.

Haru's hands slow in their working of Sousuke, and his eyes come up, meeting the larger man's purposefully.

“I wouldn't do that to him” he says with conviction.

“ _To_ him?” Sousuke questions the slightly odd inflection in Haru's words.

“He... He's ace” Haru says haltingly, his hands stopping all together. It's just too weird to him to talk about this while he's stroking someone's dick. And he can tell he's going to have to go on, because Sousuke obviously isn't grasping it, from the way his brows are furrowed.

“He's asexual” Haru spells it out for him, knowing it's not a secret or anything.

“Asexual?” Sousuke repeats back to him, looking confused.

“He doesn't like sex” Haru puts it in as basic a way as he can, giving Sousuke a look like, 'come on, get with the program here'.

“He doesn't _like_ it?” Sousuke seems like he just can't wrap his head around the concept.

“It's not just that, it's like, almost repulsive to him, he usually avoids things like that in any way he can” Haru sighs, realizing Sousuke is one of 'those' people who just don't get it.

“What, was he molested or something as a kid?”

Sousuke better be glad Haru didn't still have his dick in his hands.

“No, he was not _fucking molested_. There's nothing _wrong_ with him” Haru snaps almost vehemently, “People are all different. Some can't stand sex at all, and some are so fucking slutty they'll bang people they don't even like just for their huge cocks” Haru gets right up in Sousuke's face, making the larger man shrink back against the couch in surprise.

“I, I'm sorry” Sousuke says quickly, eyes wide. He actually looks like he might be, but Haru's not completely sure. Hands rest on Haru's thighs, as if that's neutral ground.

“Shit, I did _not_ mean to insult him like that, or you, or anything...” Sousuke seems to at least understand that part of it.

“You know how it is when we do this... It's just bullshit flying the whole time, and, I didn't think about how it would sound... I was just kind of in that mode...” Sousuke dips his head in apology, but then realizes that puts him looking directly at Haru's dick, so he quickly turns his head to the side instead.

Haru huffs, continuing to stare at Sousuke and evaluate his truthfulness a little longer.

“Fine... Let's just fuck here, before we freeze to death” Haru finally decides.

“Are you sure-”

“I said it's fine” Haru reiterates.

Sousuke licks his lips, more like he's nervous than being suggestive, and slides his hands up to Haru's hips. Haru takes a hold of the man's dick again, purposefully being gentle for the first few strokes so it doesn't unnerve him. Thick fingers make their way down to Haru's opening, and Haru leans his head down, resting it against Sousuke's neck.

By the time Sousuke's fingered him enough to work three inside, Haru's left two bite marks and a rather obvious hickey over Sousuke's skin. Serves him right.

The guy never said for him to stop while he was doing it anyway.

“Can we get down to this before my balls freeze and fall off?” Haru asks as a means to letting Sousuke know he's ready.

“You could have just left your shirt on, you know” Sousuke rolls his eyes while he pulls his fingers out.

“I fail to see how that helps with my balls...” Haru says in a disparaging tone. He does glance back at the garment though, where it's heaped up by the door. It's too far away to be a viable solution, not with Sousuke already rolling the condom on.

“Give me your sweatshirt” Haru commands, like it's an implement crucial to their upcoming act.

Sousuke raises an eyebrow, “Are you really _that_ cold?”

Since Haru is sitting with his legs spread over Sousuke's lap, it puts his toes in perfect position to wiggle against the backs of the man's knees.

“ _Shit_ , I believe you, ok?” Sousuke grouses at the ice cold intrusion.

Haru likes winning.

Sousuke rolls his eyes yet again as he leans to the side, the smallest of smiles on his face as he reaches for the sweatshirt.

But he doesn't finish the motion.

 _Pain_ flashes across his face. It _settles_ on it, stopping his movement in an instant, making him grunt.

The bottom drops out of Haru's stomach as Sousuke's arm falls back to his side. They both seize up for a second in mutual shock.

Then Haru's reaching out to him, feeling like ten different kinds of an asshole for not realizing what the motion might do. It's not like he's _forgotten_ about the injury...certainly not... His hands move of their own accord, tentatively touching the skin of Sousuke's good shoulder and the place just below his bad one.

He doesn't know what to say, 'sorry'?, 'are you ok'?, 'my bad'?... Nothing sounds right in his head as they both refuse to look the other in the eye.

“I'll get it” Haru finally says, applying gentle pressure with his hands to urge Sousuke upright the rest of the way. He moves slowly at Haru's direction, as if at any second there could be more pain. But he doesn't say anything. Their eyes meet briefly, and Haru pulls his hands back, because he really should never have touched him in the first place.

So...yeah... Where were they?...

Right, the fucking...

Haru grabs the sweatshirt, even though he could live without it, and pulls it on. Since it caused Sousuke pain, and for _memories_ to be drug up, there's no way Haru's not going to pretend it's vitally important now.

Sousuke watches it slide over his skin, and Haru's dark hair pop through into the too large hood.

Haru feels even worse at the tiny bit of warmth still left in the fabric from when Sousuke was wearing it. Instead of dwelling on it though, he strokes Sousuke through the condom a few times, and then reaches for the lube.

“Here, let me. You'll get lube all over the sleeves” Sousuke admonishes, though there's no real force in it. He takes the bottle out of Haru's hands, and slicks himself up.

Raising himself to his knees, Haru reaches behind to guide Sousuke's length to his opening.

“I wouldn't worry about the lube too much” Haru tells him, rubbing the tip over his entrance.

“ _Ah_... Why? It's my sweatshirt” Sousuke tries to stay in the conversation despite the sensation.

Haru takes that moment to slide down over his impressive cock, hardly stopping except to test his own limits and then push gently past them. There's something about the 'sliding down' motion that just demands Haru tip his head back to enjoy it fully. He doesn't bring it back level, or answer Sousuke, until he's firmly seated in the man's lap.

“Because I'm going to come inside it, so lube is the least of your worries” Haru informs him, his voice rough from the penetration.

He wonders if he really looks as hot as Sousuke's gaze is implying he is. Maybe the oversized sweatshirt look just really does it for him... The thing is huge enough on Haru to pool around his thighs, have the ends extend over his fingertips, obscure his face if he wanted...

“Fuck...” is all Sousuke says. Haru takes that to mean him soiling it is 'ok' after all.

Leaning forward a little, so Sousuke can see his face up inside the hood, Haru begins to move. He starts slow, so they both can get accustomed to the position. But that doesn't last long.

Sousuke seems both pleased, and surprised at the pace Haru chooses for himself.

It's fast and virtually punishing, with Haru's ass smacking into Sousuke's hips and bouncing back like it's fucking spring loaded or something. From the look on his face, he's never had anyone ride him with quite this much enthusiasm before. For Haru, he's never really been able to get _this_ into it with just a toy before. Sousuke's hand slips under the sweatshirt, cupping Haru's ass briefly, working the fabric up enough to tweak a nipple.

Then his fingers trace downward, fondling Haru's erection underneath the warm cloth.

It's one of the nicer versions of their university's sweatshirt, the kind with a deep pocket and a soft fleece interior.

Haru whines when Sousuke rubs the tip of his head purposefully against it. Which, since he's in the middle of riding him like there's no tomorrow, comes out way louder than he meant for it to.

“You like that?” Sousuke smirks, and does it again.

“Just stroke me” Haru groans and leans forward even more, bracing himself against Sousuke's good shoulder and the back of the couch.

The grip Sousuke uses is firmer than what Haru would normally go for. But in this situation, the edge of 'too much' is just perfect.

“I'm going to come” Haru puts his head down, resting it on Sousuke's. That way it's one less thing for him to worry about, since his rhythm is faltering already.

“Damn, I'm close too” Sousuke tells him, but it doesn't seem like he's quite as _there_ as Haru is.

A few seconds later, Haru closes his eyes and moans with his orgasm, only to have the noise cut off by Sousuke's mouth covering his. Haru does his best to keep moving through the pleasure, and Sousuke keeps stroking him too, milking every last bit.

Finally a sticky hand moves back to his ass, taking hold there.

“Is it ok if I keep going?...” Sousuke breaks the kiss to ask him.

“Just hurry” Haru tells him, blushing and turning to bury his face in the crook of the man's neck.

Sousuke wastes no time in picking back up with the pace Haru had let slip. Little involuntary noises escape every time Haru's over sensitive prostate is slammed into again. It really doesn't take long though, before Sousuke is groaning in his ear and holding him down snugly over his length.

Between the heat pulsing in Haru's groin, and the warm cocoon of the sweatshirt, he could almost fall asleep like this. Almost.

“God, I can't imagine living in a place where you can't even have sex on your own couch” Sousuke says, pulling out.

Haru gives him a look.

“I should get going” he says flatly, crawling off of Sousuke's lap so the condom can be disposed of. Come is oozing down his chest and the inside of the sweatshirt as he speaks. Pulling the sleeves back, he decides wiping off the worst of it is probably best, before trying to pull it over his head.

“Um, do you have a towel or something?” he gestures toward his midsection.

Sousuke nods, and gets up, tossing the condom while he's in the kitchen. He returns with a couple paper towels and hands them over. Haru wipes at himself while Sousuke pulls on his underwear and then pants.

The larger man only uses his good arm to clothe himself, which Haru notices because he's watching for it. The motions he goes through seem smooth and practiced though, even for being ones that _should be_ out of the ordinary...

“Is it going to be like that, _forever_?” Haru hears himself asking, before he can stop himself.

Sousuke looks up at him like they both know Haru has no right to ask that, and then deliberately finishes buttoning himself.

“I wasn't able to get back in the competition, was I?” he says, making Haru feel like an absolute heel. “It's always going to be limited... And if I forget about those limitations, it reminds me” Sousuke adds with a sigh, gesturing toward the shoulder in question.

Haru nods, and blushes, looking away.

“Is Makoto going to be asexual forever?” Sousuke asks him, as if there really is a tiny bit of curiosity to his statement.

“Of course. Why would you even ask that?” Haru frowns as he goes to pull on his own jeans.

“It's just, I always assumed you two were together in high school... I didn't know if maybe you were like, waiting for him or something...” Sousuke says like it's nothing.

It _is_ nothing.

It _should be_ nothing.

Except Haru can feel the unbidden tears suddenly streaming down his cheeks.

Sousuke's eyes get wide, and he takes a step toward Haru.

Which only serves to freak him out.

“I have to go” Haru darts toward the door, grabbing his bag and scooping his shoes up in his other arm.

“Wait, Haru. Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't know...” Sousuke genuinely sounds upset with himself, but it's all just too much for Haru. He opens the front door, trotting out of it without stopping for anything, hoping Sousuke has the common courtesy not to follow him while he's trying to run away.

“I'll wash your sweatshirt for you” he calls out behind him like it's the 'goodbye' their _non_ _relationship_ doesn't call for.

As Sousuke watches Haru power walk down the street, he sees Haru's shirt separate and fall out of the hastily grabbed pile. But Haru doesn't notice, and keeps going, turning the corner without looking back. With a sigh, Sousuke walks over to the plain t-shirt, picking it up off the ground. He stands there and holds onto it for a second, but Haru doesn't make an appearance again. Pulling out his phone as he walks back to his door, Sousuke types out a message to the number saved generically as 'blue eyes'.

 

// _We really suck at this when we're not drunk_ //

 

It's not until a couple hours later that he gets a reply, but he doesn't put stock in there being any 'meaning' behind the delay.

 

// _Yeah, that's the fucking truth... Next time I'll bring alcohol_ //

 

Sousuke's reply is fairly brief, enough to let Haru know that he's still down with there being a next time too. He figures he should probably leave the ball in the smaller man's court again, after the way they parted...

 

// _Sounds like a plan... He who initiates the booty call brings the booze?_ //

 

The final response he gets back is one word.

 

// _Deal_ //

 

…

 

Haru forgets he's walking around in a sweatshirt that's three sizes too large for him, stained with come, and not wearing any shoes. That is, until he gets to the main entrance of the aquatics center, and sees his reflection in the glass. At least with the mess having been on the inside, it only looks like he has average 'oops, I'm a klutz with food' stains on his front.

He slips his shoes on in the entryway, undeterred from his mission by the revelation.

Even being hours early for practice, Haru still puts in a full one when the rest of the team arrives, like always. Afterward, he sees Sousuke's message when he's changing in the locker rooms. Though it's not a long conversation, he feels like the loose end there is tied up for now.

Going home is not an option yet, so he heads over to the art building, which is strangely open for a greater number of hours than any other on campus. His mind is still racing, and his limbs nowhere near worn down enough to fall asleep from exhaustion.

Haru spends the rest of the night making an exercise out of the breaking of plaster.

 

 

 

Haru goes into his living room a few weeks later, to find Makoto playing with his phone. A flash of hesitance runs through him, but if Makoto sees something he doesn't like, it'll be his own fault. Besides, he and Sousuke aren't incredibly explicit in the messages they send to inquire about hooking up.

“What's twenty eight out of one eighty seven?” Makoto asks him, frowning slightly.

“What?” Haru frowns back.

“This contact in your phone... You got a message a second ago, and I was replying to Rei for you, and I saw the last message before was from an odd name...” Makoto tells him, looking puzzled.

“It's... Just... This guy I meet up with, sometimes” Haru says.

“Oh? Wait, did you make a friend in one of your classes?” Makoto looks positively tickled at the idea.

“Um...” Haru blushes.

Makoto's smile gets even wider.

“Do... Do you have a _boyfriend_ , Haru-chan?” he asks, voice pitched like secrets might be shared.

Haru shakes his head, “He's not my boyfriend... We just, get together, sometimes.”

He doesn't really know how to make it clear that they're just fucking without startling Makoto.

“What's his major?” Makoto keeps grinning.

“I... Don't know...” Haru admits.

“Well, how did you meet then?” Makoto asks next, after his classroom friend theory is blown out of the water.

Haru should, in all honesty, mention middle school and annoying redheads...but he doesn't.

“At a party” he says, like it's a confession.

After all, Makoto knows he's not going to them out of some need to socialize.

“Oh... But you liked him enough afterward to trade phone numbers?”

Haru groans to himself, because if there's any response to that, it's more like he enjoyed his dick enough... But he can't just come out and _say_ that to Makoto...

“Look, you're really not comfortable discussing this with me, ok?” Haru tells him, willing Makoto mentally to get it.

Makoto raises an eyebrow.

“Haru... Your my best friend... Even if _I_ don't ever want to do it, I know _you_ like sex _a lot_ ” Makoto informs him, “I've seen the box under your bed.”

Haru freezes, not having been privilege to that information before.

“You've seen... Oh...”

“Not that I want 'details' all of a sudden, but, I mean, you can _tell_ me if you have a guy you like. It's not going to freak me out to know you have that kind of relationship...” Makoto tells him gently.

“I don't have anyone I like” Haru sighs, taking his phone back. “What did Rei want?”

“He was trying to prove a point to Nagisa about guy-liner...” Makoto says, “And you know, you could get a boyfriend pretty easily, Haru-chan. You're good looking, athletic, artistic-”

“Makoto” Haru interrupts him, “Just stop, ok?”

Makoto looks at him seriously, and it's obvious to Haru that he is not, in fact, going to stop.

“But... If you had a boyfriend, even if it wasn't super serious, then, you wouldn't really need to be going out to parties and stuff...right? I...worry about you, sometimes, Haru-chan...” Makoto tells him softly.

“Makoto... It's ok. I haven't been doing that as much lately anyway...” Haru tries to allay his fears.

“Because of this math guy?”

Haru opens his mouth, but he just has no idea how to tell Makoto what the numbers in his phone really stand for. A small, almost exasperated sigh escapes while it's hanging open, so Haru just closes it again quickly.

Instead of chuckling or tipping his head with a smile, Makoto furrows his brows.

“Haru... I think... Can we talk for a minute?” the brunet asks.

Haru feels a cold sensation twist outward from the pit of his stomach.

“No” he says curtly.

“ _Haru_ ” Makoto says accusingly, his tone serious.

“Makoto” Haru says back, flat and with every indication that he's hiding something.

Makoto sighs.

“Haru... It's just, sometimes... You try too hard to be a good friend to me” Makoto tells him resolutely.

Haru blinks at him.

“Don't give me that look...” Makoto shakes his head, “It's my fault... I, should never have kissed you...”

“That's the past. It's over and done with” Haru says forcefully.

“I know. It _is_. But you... I _know_ you're my best friend, Haru-chan, you don't have to keep trying so hard to prove it all the time, to prove that we're good as just friends. I _know_ we are” Makoto implores him.

Haru feels frustrated tears welling up in his eyes, and he slumps down on the couch in defeat. As confused as the two of them may have been before, Makoto at least has grown into an understanding and acceptance of who he is. The kind that lets him make startlingly insightful conclusions sometimes. It's easier to see into others, after all, when you know yourself.

“This guy... I... I was telling him how you're ace, you know” Haru shrugs, “And he, said this _thing_... He asked, if I was waiting for you, like, you would magically stop being ace someday... And you know I'm not, I wouldn't _do_ that... But...”

Haru wipes at his eyes, looking up to Makoto to make sure he can see the truth in them. This is too important of a point between them, for there to be any doubt about the fact that Haru is most definitely _not_ expecting that.

“But it just, _hit_ me. I... I'm pretty fucking pathetic, if people just assume something like that right away” Haru chokes out.

“Oh, Haru...” Makoto puts a hand on his shoulder, but seems to be holding himself back from any greater contact at the moment, considering the heaviness of the topic.

“I'm fine now” Haru assures him, accepting the gesture for what it is. “He wasn't _trying_ to be an ass, he's just one of those people who didn't get it” he shrugs.

“Haru... That's exactly what I'm talking about though” Makoto tells him, removing his hand, “I think... You've been so caught up in being supportive of me, that you're not being yourself the way you should.”

Haru frowns at him, because that doesn't even make any sense.

“You love sex” Makoto has the grace to at least blush while declaring that, “But you don't bring your math guy back here, because of me.”

Haru can't argue with that, for more reasons than just the ones Makoto's pointing out, so he says nothing.

And he blushes while he's at it.

“If we didn't live together...” Makoto starts to say, making Haru's eyes flash at him angrily.

“Don't say that.”

“We would still see each other everyday, still be best friends, Haru, even if we had separate apartments...”

“But, who would cook for you?” Haru of course spouts off the most irrelevant, inane point possible out of the whole situation.

Makoto gives him a kind, patient look.

“I _do_ know how to make a few things. I'll get by, Haru-chan.”

“I'll still end up feeding you. So there's no point. We'll be over at each other's places all the time, so we might as well stay like this” Haru argues.

“But, even if it was just a little space... It might give you room to let other people in your life...” Makoto tells him softly, oh so gently.

“No, it'll just mean I'll be lonely _all_ the time” Haru's voice fills with emotion, against his will.

Makoto puts his hand back on Haru's shoulder as the smaller man wipes at his face again.

“Only if you wanted to be, Haru...”

Haru feels an ugly, guilty feeling in his chest as he cries, because there is a part of him that agrees. There's part of him that wants the whole package of love and sex, all from one person... He doesn't think it's something that's really capable of being his though. He doesn't let people in enough for it to be possible. But that's not something he's ever wanted to deal with, ever wanted to confront.

Makoto is enough.

Should be enough.

He feels bad that Makoto has known all this time that a platonic love isn't enough for Haru... They already broke up a long time ago, but, it almost feels like Makoto is breaking up with him all over again. Only this time maybe it's more for Haru's good, instead of his own...

Makoto rubs his back, soothing, comforting.

“Shhh, shhh, Haru-chan... I'm so sorry. I should have said something sooner...”

Haru doesn't answer, he just lets himself be shushed.

“I should never have gotten together with you back then... I... I knew, even in high school...” Makoto sighs, sounding sad.

“I know... But... It wasn't all you” Haru replies, trying to take responsibility. “I should have been paying attention. I would have seen it. I wouldn't have let you try to force yourself to kiss me, if I'd understood” Haru says earnestly.

Makoto nods, hazarding a small smile.

“But we know now though, what the right thing to do is.”

 

At the end of the next month, Haru moves out into his own one bedroom apartment.

 

Makoto somehow finds a set of key chains each shaped like dolphins, that say “best friends” on them. Haru refuses to get emotional about the gift, but mostly fails.

He does invite Sousuke over to fuck him in his mostly bare apartment though, and it's kind of thrilling in a way that he will never admit to anyone ever.  


	3. Chapter 3

It's another couple weeks before Haru ends up with his apartment being the place he and Sousuke choose to screw. When he opens the door though, curiosity slightly dampens his normally horny demeanor. Along with him, Sousuke has brought the unmistakable rolled up tube of a poster.

Haru raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, remember the poster you destroyed in my room last week?” Sousuke asks him, stepping inside.

“I'm not the one who chose to fuck me up against that wall” Haru points out.

Sousuke acts like Haru has somehow agreed with him by saying that.

“So I was out getting a new one, and it was like, a two for one sale” Sousuke says nonchalantly, ignoring the new heights Haru's eyebrow is achieving.

“I tried just getting the one, but the dude at the register was looking at me like I was committing some sort of _sacrilege_ by not taking a free one...”

Sousuke sort of shrugs, and then holds the end of it out toward Haru.

“But I don't have any more room on my walls, so, here...”

Haru can only imagine what kind of half baked excuse for self expression is contained within the rolled offering. He grasps the end of it, but doesn't open it right away.

“Please... _Please_ tell me this is like a naked guy or something...” Haru asks.

Sousuke frowns at him.

“They don't sell that kind of stuff right across from campus.”

Well, Haru might as well see what kind of damage is being inflicted on the artistic senses of the youth these days...

When he unrolls it, it's so much worse than he'd imagined.

If it had been some generic nature scene with a smattering of motivational words on it, he could have dealt. A kitten in a teacup, wearing one of those ribbon bows for a collar, and he may have even hung it on a wall somewhere... But this, this is unforgivable.

Suddenly all Haru can picture is the store clerk pegging Sousuke right away and making it his mission to finally get rid of this godawful print, no matter who was hurt in the process.

“This... This is the most hideous thing I have ever seen” Haru sputters, laughter threatening to overtake his words because of the image in his mind.

“What's wrong with it?” Sousuke frowns even more deeply. A _scowl_ almost.

“Are you serious? It looks like a six year old was left alone with _MS Paint_ for twenty minutes” Haru has a hard time choking back his mirth to tell him. Sousuke clearly has no real idea of the magnitude of insult Haru has just leveled at his choice in 'art', or he'd be getting _more_ upset. Instead, Sousuke puts his hands on his hips, which Haru has figured out is the man's rather clever way of making himself seem _even larger_ when in a confrontation.

“How am I supposed to know which of this modern art shit is good or not? Maybe you're just a fucking art snob” Sousuke shoots back at him.

But Haru's not. He's really not.

Haru is all about good art being less 'fundamentals' and more evoking of emotion. When he sees his classmates pouring their heart and soul into a work, the difference is material. Those are the pieces that speak. This poster is very nearly the antithesis of that.

“This isn't _modern art_ , this isn't even _art_ at all. This is blatant consumerism and greed on the part of whoever was uninvolved enough in it's creation to think it was a good idea” Haru explains, looking piteously at the poster again.

“Oh, well excuse me for daring to accept the _free_ poster someone practically _forced_ me to take” Sousuke says dramatically.

“Did you ever stop and think there might be a _reason_ they were trying to get rid of it? And why the _hell_ would you think _I_ would want it?” Haru counters.

“You're the only person I know who's into this _art crap_ to begin with” Sousuke tells him, not so slyly skipping over answering the first part of Haru's question.

Haru's eyes narrow.

“Do you even know how much of an asshole you sound like right now?” Haru asks calmly. He knows not everyone appreciates art. They don't have to. It's fine. It's not like with the water.

But this particular poster... It's the most generically matching shades of blue, green, and purple that probably exist. There's not even any contrast, nothing about it that draws your eye anywhere. It's just smudged lines with blurred focus, like it's made out of a fuzzy fabric. It's beyond banal. Most of all, it just screams that no thought or effort was put into it, like they couldn't even be bothered to truly try to be _random_. Just, _nothing_.

Haru actually feels a little bit bad for Sousuke, having been conned into taking this.

“You think _I'm_ the one acting like an asshole?” Sousuke asks, more out of disbelief than in anger.

This whole situation is just so ridiculous, that Haru is standing in his empty living room, debating art with _Yamazaki Sousuke,_ because of both their preferences for rough sex...that Haru just kind of loses it.

His mouth quirks, and he tries so hard to keep from smiling, but he's not sure it's working.

“Well, you know what they say...” Haru looks up to meet the eyes of the giant before him, his laughter hovering right beneath the surface.

Sousuke blinks, probably running through every applicable metaphor he can think of.

“You are what you eat” Haru tells him, unable to conceal just how much he's _done_ with this ridiculous argument. He tosses the poster at the same time, just lets it fall to the floor in the open space of the room, uncaring.

Sousuke blushes just the smallest bit, though not enough to bother looking away, and he recovers gracefully.

“I guess that explains why you're such a dick then.”

“Take off your pants, Sousuke” Haru says like it's an order.

“Make me, Haru” Sousuke fires back.

Haru casually raises his finger to his mouth, and slips it past his lips. Sucking on the digit enough to hollow his cheeks with each pass, he keeps his eyes locked on the teal challenge above him.

Sousuke clears his throat, and unbuttons his jeans.

 

They fuck on Haru's bed, because that's just easiest when you're in a hurry. It's surprisingly playful though, compared to what Haru's used to.

“You do realize you have to take it back with you” Haru says, staring at the ceiling after they're done.

“You're serious, aren't you?” Sousuke asks. He doesn't stop running his fingers through Haru's hair though.

“Completely. I can't even throw it away. What if someone saw it in my trash?” Haru points out.

“Because that's so much more embarrassing than a dozen used condoms” Sousuke quips.

“Hey, sex is beautiful. That poster is just disturbing” Haru says in a disgruntled tone, continuing to examine the tops of the walls.

Sousuke doesn't say anything right away, to the point where Haru doesn't think he's going to respond at all.

“So, what is good art then?” he asks, voice pitched perfectly for just the two of them, asking for understanding.

Something about it makes Haru's heart skip a beat, and he's glad that's not something Sousuke can see.

“Art... It makes you _feel_ things. Otherwise...it's just pretty pictures” Haru tells him succinctly, “ _Not_ that I'm saying it was pretty, but, did that poster make you feel anything?”

Sousuke doesn't respond for a moment, but it doesn't feel like a hesitant silence. It feels more like Haru is being watched intently, and Sousuke's just taking his time while observing.

“No” the man finally admits, “Actually, I thought it was kind of ugly...but I didn't know...”

“Well,” Haru breathes deeply, steadying himself, “Now you know.”

 

 

 

As soon as Haru gets the basic shape formed of the bust he's working on, he knows it's all wrong. He knows what he's seeing in his head is still the right track to take... But this is not going to convey the magnitude of what he envisioned.

And that's just it, he realizes.

It's the scale, the literal size of the piece that's wrong. It can't be scaled down. It needs to be life sized, or he might as well just quit now. Actually, he is going to quit now. But only insomuch as it means starting over.

This is probably exactly why their studio fees are so high, because of the waste from situations like this... But it can't be helped. It has to be _right_.

Haru takes a minute to rub at his face, letting his caring for this lump of plaster seep away as it gets converted it into nothing but a huge waste of time in his head. Frustrated, he takes a half hearted swing at one of the limbs, and finds it breaks much more easily than he'd been expecting. The entire arm cracks off under it's own weight afterward, and Haru just looks at it in horror.

So, maybe it wasn't such a waste of time after all. This particular statue is going to need to be able to stand up to crazy things like, say, being moved from one place to another. All the students' final works will be put on display at the end of the year, like an exhibition. If Haru had put in all the effort of creating his finished work, only to have it come apart... Well, crying would definitely be on the table at that point.

Feeling determined, Haru lugs what's left of the statue over to the dump and leaves it there. The dump is a place for people to leave discarded works or materials, mostly ones that are damaged, but may be usable to the right student. Haru has seen people refuse to work with items from it, but also people who won't use anything if they _don't_ find it in there.

He understands wanting to be the first to use an item of course... Being able to have all possibilities open to you... But there's something extra poetic about finding beauty in something someone else already discarded too.

 

 

 

Haru is accidentally the first one to break the 'no kitten spam' rule.

Nagisa posted a picture of a little blond kitten, laying on it's back with it's tiny paws practically limp from either sleep or extreme contentment. It's eyes are closed, and a hand is rubbing it's stomach with the backs of it's fingers. There's just something gentle about the way the touch is portrayed, and the caption reads, “Belly rubs are the best”.

It's ridiculously tame, coming from Nagisa.

Haru means to forward it to Makoto. He does not mean to forget who the last person to text him was, when he chooses that selection on autopilot.

As the display box notifies him “Message Sent!”, his eyes widen in terror.

His fingers grip his phone tightly, as if wishing he could claw back the mistake.

“Shit...” he says softly under his breath, freezing in place on the sidewalk.

He waits.

Ten seconds.

Thirty.

A minute goes by, but there's no reply, no acknowledgment.

Haru knows Sousuke is home, he's heading over to his apartment _right now_ with a bottle of cheap rum and lecherous intentions.

Should he cancel? Make up some excuse to drop out and leave the country entirely?...

“Fuck” he swears to himself one more time, biting his bottom lip. He really was wanting to get laid tonight...

Still no reply.

Gritting his teeth, Haru finally decides to just face the music and continue on. Sure, he'll probably get a ribbing for breaking his own requirement...but then Sousuke will be in a good mood, having gotten one over him. And when Sousuke is in that kind of mood, he tends to be rather _enthusiastic_. It could be a worse situation.

By the time Haru plants his feet in front of Sousuke's door, he's downplayed what he's done as much as possible in his own head.

Sousuke opens at his knock, but blocks Haru's entry by leaning against the jam for a moment. His eyes bore into Haru with a confident, almost cocky _knowing_ , and he crosses his arms over his chest.

Haru blushes.

“It was an accident” Haru says, cheeks on absolute fire.

Sousuke nods slowly and dramatically.

“A likely story, Haru” Sousuke smiles impishly as he finally moves out of the way.

Haru rolls his eyes.

“Are you sure you weren't trying to tell me something?” Sousuke preens in the living room, “Because I'm more than willing to rub any part of you that needs it.”

Haru shoots him a look of death.

“Just get out the coke” he grumbles, pulling the rum out of his bag.

Haru drinks himself under quickly enough. The redness in his cheeks doesn't even have a true chance to recede. His pretty constant embarrassment only fades once he's flushed and blearily mouthing any skin of Sousuke's that gets too close to him. It's an interesting game, and one that ends with Sousuke's cock in his mouth and Haru clutching the man's sculpted thighs.

While sucking him greedily, Haru thinks to himself that its a shame he's not immortalizing _this_ in plaster of paris.

But fucking a statue's dick wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't have Sousuke's warm weight against him. There'd be no groaning noises in his ear while Sousuke leans over, taking him from behind. No skill to balance on one good shoulder while the other arm strokes a lazy circuit over Haru's chest and abs.

Haru comes without Sousuke even having to move to stroking his dick. He's just too keyed up and overwhelmed by the full-surround stimulation tonight. After they're done, Sousuke keeps their relative positions, moving to spooning Haru while they lay. His hand rests right over Haru's stomach, and it's only _that_ belatedly that Haru realizes it.

The asshole was _rubbing his belly_ the entire time.

Haru's too close to the edge of passing out when it hits him though, so he vows to himself to bring it up again in the morning.

Sometimes mornings don't bring what you expect of them though.

 

“... _Sousuke_...”

“Oh, _Sou-kun_!...”

Haru can feel Sousuke snap awake, his body tensing with adrenaline behind him. He opens his eyes just as the bedroom door is opening on them. Haru only has a chance to glimpse two women striding in before Sousuke's sheet obscures his vision by being pulled over his head.

“ _Mom_! I'm in college, you can't just barge into my room like this!” Sousuke hisses, yet manages a semi-respectful tone at the end there.

Haru freezes, not sure what to do or say, or not do, or not say...because _parents_.

“Who's your friend, Sousuke?” a voice replies, and Haru assumes it's Sousuke's mother since that's who he was addressing. She sounds disappointed...though, not necessarily _upset_ with him.

“Out. _Please_ ” Sousuke somehow commands pleadingly.

“Aren't you going to say 'hi' to me, Sou-kun?” the other woman speaks up, clearly sounding amused.

“ _Hi, Aunt Tsuki_. Now, can we please leave any further conversation for when we're all fully clothed?...” Sousuke asks almost patronizingly.

“Why, Sousuke, are you meaning to imply that you're _not_ clothed under there?” his mother says with a lilt in her voice.

Haru snorts from under the sheet, he can't help it. It's immediately _far_ too obvious where Sousuke gets his combativeness from.

“Oh my god... Just kill me now” Sousuke mutters, burying his face in the pillow.

“Fine, fine. We'll leave you two to get dressed. But don't take too long...” his mother admonishes.

As soon as they're gone, Sousuke mutters an expletive into the pillow too.

Even though it's not his family, not his embarrassment, Haru blushes for him when his and Sousuke's eyes meet.

“Ah, sorry...” Sousuke mumbles quietly, as if he suspects the women may be listening at the door.

“Did they not know?...” Haru questions just as softly, obviously implying the question is about Sousuke's sexuality.

“Oh... Yeah, they do... It's just, my mom doesn't approve of the whole 'sleeping around' thing” Sousuke informs him, looking torn. “I didn't think she'd resort to _this_ length, though...”

“How does your dad feel about it?...” Haru asks, eyeing the door warily as they dress. Of course, like always, Haru's shirt and pants are in the living room.

“He... Hasn't spoken to me since I came out” Sousuke says quietly, “But, he didn't _disown_ me though, so, I guess that's something...”

Suddenly footsteps approach the bedroom door again, and a voice calls out.

“Hurry up Sousuke, or I'll be forced to start going through your things to entertain myself...”

The blood drains out of Sousuke's face.

“I... Um... I don't suppose... You'd be willing to pretend...to be my boyfriend...for a little bit...” Sousuke asks, blushing hard, still keeping his tone down.

“Um... Sure. I guess, I can do that...for a little bit...” Haru finds himself answering out of pity before he can truly evaluate the request. “I don't suppose you could go out there and get my clothes for me?” he follows it up with, holding onto the shreds of the playful bargaining that usually flows between them.

“Really?” Sousuke looks hopefully stunned for a moment, and then glances at the door again.

“Yeah, I can bring them back...” he says, as if steeling himself for battle.

Haru waits quietly on the edge of the bed for him to return, wondering what the hell it is he's just gotten himself into.

When Sousuke comes back, he looks as awkward about this as Haru has ever seen him act.

They're both silent as Haru puts on his clothes.

This atmosphere between them right now is not going to be conducive to convincing anyone that they're a couple.

Haru takes a step forward, and motions Sousuke to lean down.

He kisses him without hesitation, like it's natural, and then whispers in his ear, “I _will_ get you back for rubbing my stomach... _After_ they're gone.”

It's a threat wrapped in a promise, and Sousuke relaxes a good deal, hearing it.

“Ok” he whispers back, accepting his fate.

Just as he's about to open the door for them to exit the bedroom though, Haru puts his hand over the knob, stopping him momentarily.

“Oh, uh, what's your major?” Haru asks in a hushed tone.

Sousuke bites his lip, as if just now realizing how little chance this has of working.

“...It's criminal justice” he says flatly.

Haru nods, and removes his hand.

Sousuke continues to look at him for a second, but then finally takes a deep breath, sighs, and opens the door.

“Mom, Aunt Tsuki, this is Nanase, Haru” Sousuke does his best to smile as he introduces him.

Frankly, Yamazaki-san looks surprised that her son's current companion is not immediately bolting for the door.

“Uh, he's my boyfriend” Sousuke adds, like saying it aloud makes it true.

Haru almost wants to smile at how much trouble he's in. Almost.

“Boyfriend? As in, you've made an actual commitment to this man, and aren't sleeping with anything that moves anymore?” she asks brightly.

Sousuke blushes, and gives his mother his best, 'hey, knock it off already, will you?' stare. But he nods in agreement at the same time.

Yamazaki-san gives him the same slow, disbelieving nod that Sousuke greeted Haru with not even twelve hours ago.

“So, how long have the two of you been seeing each other?” she asks next.

Haru does not know Sousuke's birthday, favorite color, if he has any siblings or deadly food allergies, nothing. So he decides his only option for success, if there is one at all, is to lay it on thick enough that they're convinced quickly.

Haru crosses his arms, and gives Sousuke a look that displays more irritation than anything else.

“What?” Sousuke frowns back at him, “...It's only been about a month...”

“As of?” Haru prompts him, his tone bordering on dangerous.

The moment he sees everything click in Sousuke's eyes, he feels a surge of elation. It's just, _nice_ , when people get it and you don't have to say anything.

“Shit, it was yesterday, wasn't it?” Sousuke pales a little.

“You forgot your month-aversary, Sou-kun?” Aunt Tsuki says with a tut.

“No, he didn't. It's tomorrow” Haru smiles just the smallest bit, dropping his crossed arms, “And you call _me_ the flaky art student.”

“I never said you were flaky” Sousuke defends himself.

“You implied it” Haru says with a mild amount of exasperation, as if this is the dregs of an old argument.

They can get through this, really they can, if they just stay true to their normal bullshitting selves. The moment they try to act like anything other than that, the charade will fall apart completely.

Sousuke's mom _seems_ to be buying it, for now, though Aunt Tsuki looks much more willing to give them a pass.

Since they haven't eaten yet, both Haru and Sousuke move toward the kitchen in a futile attempt to avoid their gazes.

“It's my turn to cook” Haru declares, smacking Sousuke's hand away from the door of the fridge.

“It's my family” Sousuke frowns at him.

“So? They're still guests, so they should be given something _nice_ to eat” Haru counters. He knows Sousuke probably doesn't want to be the center of female attention, but no way in hell is Haru taking that bullet for him. It's not like the kitchen is big enough for them to _both_ cook in it.

Sousuke sighs, and turns to face the inevitable.

“Just, don't make them mackerel, ok?” he asks as he steps away.

“I make no promises” Haru tells him. It's not like Sousuke to keep an abundance of that particular fish in his fridge, but if Haru finds any, he's cooking it.

Sousuke goes back into the living room, which, in reality, is all of three meters away from Haru's position. And they can all completely see each other too, thanks to the breakfast bar type set up. But just the illusion of separation is enough for Haru to feel like he's being given a chance to ground himself.

While he cooks, Haru discretely listens in on the myriad of questions Sousuke is grilled with. School, work, his physical therapy, if he's eating right, if he's sleeping enough, if he's still making sure to practice _safe sex_...

“It's ready” Haru says unceremoniously, setting out a stack of plates along the counter. There's not enough room, so they'll probably have to eat on the couch.

“This tamagoyaki is excellent, Haru-kun” Aunt Tsuki compliments him, seeming genuinely surprised.

“It was my grandmother's recipe” Haru gives her a small bow from where he's sitting, with just his head.

“Do you think she'd be willing to share it?”

Haru blinks, trying to remember to be polite to these people before he answers. He sees Sousuke put a hand on his aunt's arm, and the gesture takes a second for Haru to make sense of.

“She passed away when I was twelve” Haru informs them, looking away.

Their apologies are soft, so Haru doesn't mind too much.

When they're done eating, Sousuke clears all their plates, and Haru eyes his bag by the door, wondering if it's too soon to make an excuse and escape. It's almost noon because of how late they slept, which was a byproduct of how late they had stayed up... But Sousuke's family is probably expecting a little more time to pry secrets out of him, or something like that.

“Oh, leave those for later, Sou-kun!” Aunt Tsuki exclaims over the dishes, “Your mother and I are taking you boys out shopping!”

“Uh, I think Haru might have other plans” Sousuke says.

“Shopping for what?” Haru says at the same time. Really, if there's a way that he can get mackerel out of all this, he might as well go for it. They've already come this far, after all.

He and Sousuke both give each other a look.

“Oh my... Now, now you two... It's perfectly fine if Haru-kun comes with us, isn't it Sousuke?” his mother says. It's not a question.

“Don't you have practice?” Sousuke asks Haru, glossing over his mother's insistence for a moment.

“We're on a reduced schedule, now that the season's over” Haru informs him.

“Oh, are you an athlete dear?” Aunt Tsuki acts like she's interrupting, but is subtly herding everyone toward the door.

“Haru swims for the team here” Sousuke tells them, before Haru himself has a chance to say anything. “I'm just going to get my jacket, I'll be right back” he says in too even a tone, heading down the hall.

Haru doesn't like the look of how he walks away after saying that.

When Sousuke returns wearing his university sweatshirt, Haru makes a point of taking the larger man's hand. If they were real boyfriends, that's what he'd do, hearing the little inflection a moment ago.

Haru has not held hands with anyone in a long time.

He didn't remember it being this sweaty and awkward.

At least he does get the mackerel out of the ordeal that he was hoping for.

Sousuke's mom and aunt insist on stocking him up, and are more than willing to take Haru's suggestions. It's amazing there's enough room in the trunk of their little family sedan to fit everything. There's barely enough room in the backseat for Haru to sit squished against Sousuke's massive form as it is. Even though he's not trying to hold back his attitude, Haru does try and keep the swearing to a minimum as he and Sousuke throw barbs at each other.

The women also insist on taking the boys out to eat before they have to leave again that evening. Sousuke's aunt lives on the outskirts of the city, so his mother is able to stay with her and make a day trip of visiting him. This is, apparently, the first time she's done so without _calling first_ , though.

“So, Haru,” Yamazaki-san smiles at him from across the restaurant table, “What drew you to my son in the first place?”

It's a valid question, but, for the life of him, Haru can't do anything but appraise the situation like normal.

“I have no idea. We just woke up next to each other one morning.”

Sousuke glares at him.

“Seriously?” he asks Haru, very nearly breaking their compact.

“I don't like lying” Haru tells him in a matter of fact tone, “Besides, you said yourself, they already knew what things were like before.”

Sousuke softens his glare a little, and turns it away from Haru, but it doesn't leave his face completely.

“Do you mind if I ask then, what made you want to give him a chance? It's just, the two of you obviously have such a _way_ about you, it's fascinating to me that my Sou-chan would fall into such a relationship” his mother expounds, looking at them curiously.

“Sousuke... He doesn't ever give up. He's not a quitter...” Haru finds the question surprisingly easy to answer. “I like that” Haru explains simply, because it's really Sousuke's most prominent feature in his mind, aside from _the physical_ aspects that he appreciates, of course.

“Haru doesn't care what other people think about him” Sousuke offers unbidden, looking at the smaller man for a moment like the restaurant is fading away around them.

Haru blushes, and his pulse jumps into his ears, making them burn and pound all at once.

“I... Care what _some_ people think...” he tries to lighten the mood, deflect a little by contradicting... He couldn't have possibly chosen a worse way to try though. He coughs and takes a drink of his water, seeking relief.

It doesn't help.

When their food comes, there's finally enough of a distraction for him to latch on more firmly to his composure.

As they're leaving the restaurant afterward, Sousuke takes Haru's hand this time.

It manages to somehow be even more awkward than before, but feel easier.

 

 

 

There is only one person that Haru knows of who has taken a metal working class already. He really needs to get down to business if he's going to finish his project in time now. Hojo Seiki is currently working on a piece that's two meters high and made entirely out of high heels. But Haru is able to trade him help with a cosplay he'll be doing at the start of next year, in exchange for his welding skills now.

Not that the support structure needs a whole lot of detail, it's really just fashioning about five metal rods into the right configuration. Haru is about as bad at working with fire though, as he is good with water. He breathes a huge sigh of relief once the rough skeleton is immersed in plaster and finally setting.

He's getting close enough to their deadline that he's had to plot out what days and time slots he can devote to finishing it. Not that he ever ends up sticking to those kinds of schedules when he makes them... But it helps him feel like he's at least paying attention to where he needs to be.


	4. Chapter 4

“Damn, I'm so jealous of you guys sometimes” Rin sighs with an angst ridden tone. His school in Australia has a different schedule, so they're already on their break. Since he has to fly into Tokyo on his way home, he always stops to visit Haru and Makoto on his way through. Mostly it's to crash on a couch without having to pay for a hotel, but they usually end up hanging out a bit too.

“Jealous? Of us?” Makoto looks slightly confused.

Haru knows the redhead will go on even if they don't prompt him, so he doesn't bother.

“Yeah, I mean, do you know how rare it is for two people to break up and _actually_ remain friends?” Rin asks them.

Both Haru and Makoto glance at each other.

“Well, our situation wasn't exactly average...” Makoto says as lightly as possible, blushing just slightly.

“Yeah, but still... It sucks to lose a friend, things get all awkward and shit...” Rin muses, “And _that_ , is why I can never go out with you, Haru, I'm sorry to break it to you this way...”

Rin may have had a few more beers than Haru realized.

“I'll try to hold back my tears” Haru says blandly.

Rin snickers, and pats him on the back a little too roughly.

“Ha, you're alright man, it's cool” he says, flashing a grin. “ _But_ , if you ever decide you don't want to be friends anymore, let me know. 'Cause we should totally fuck first” Rin winks at him.

“I'm seeing someone” pops out of Haru's mouth before he realizes it. With a scowl, he turns back to his own drink, taking a swig of it.

“The fuck you are” Rin counters. He doesn't look like he believes Haru one bit, until he glances over and sees the look on Makoto's face.

It's like the man is waiting behind a gate, knowing it's going to open soon and reveal a whole litter of puppies to play with.

“Is it your math guy?” Makoto asks, eyes bright and somehow managing to be on the edge of his seat, though they're all sitting on the floor.

“Um... Yeah. It's not, like, _official_ official though...” Haru shrugs. Does pretending to be someone's boyfriend to get their parents off his back count as a step toward a relationship?... Haru's not entirely sure how he feels about what happened yet. He and Sousuke have both been busy, and haven't seen each other in the couple of days since 'the visit'.

“Math guy?... No shit...” Rin is looking at him a new light, “Alright, _spill_.”

Haru rolls his eyes.

“Not happening” he says curtly.

Rin rolls his eyes right back at Haru, and then turns to Makoto.

“So, what do you know about this dude?”

“Uh, well, not much, actually...” Makoto admits.

Haru doesn't bother telling him not to tell Rin anything, since Makoto doesn't _know_ anything himself.

“...He... I just know about him cause I saw his contact in Haru's phone... Twenty eight out of one eighty seven...” Makoto tries to appease their friend since Haru didn't say not to. “So that's why I call him math guy...”

“Twenty eight, one eighty seven?” Rin quirks an eyebrow. He fixes his gaze back on Haru, and smirks. “ _Nice_.”

Haru just clears his throat and takes another drink.

“I was with a guy like that once-” Rin starts out.

“Of course you were” Haru sighs, interrupting him.

“No, seriously. That's exactly what I've been talking about” Rin gestures. “You guys _know_ Sousuke, he's massive. Probably a little more than twenty eight though...” he adds, making challenging eyebrows in Haru's direction.

“You dated Yamazaki” Haru states, only barely catching himself from saying 'Sousuke'. His mind reels with _why the hell it matters_ to him what he calls him in front of Rin, while he waits for Rin's reply.

“Well, if you ever try the whole 'monogamy' thing, you get to call it 'boyfriends', Haru” Rin tells him, being dramatic.

Haru doesn't know how to press for more without drawing suspicion, and doesn't know why he even _cares_ at all...so he just stays quiet.

“And it sucks even worse when 'boyfriends' doesn't work out with a _friend_ , because then you lose them” Rin elaborates on his own, sounding more and more dejected.

“Was, it a bad break?” Makoto asks, looking ready to give any care and support possible.

“Well, _I_ broke it off... But yeah, I guess it was... I mean, he's a great guy, Sousuke's an amazing _friend_ , we'd fucking known each other almost all our lives” Rin takes another swig of his beer, and then absently starts tearing the label off, since it's empty now.

“But he was just so god damned _clingy_ , I couldn't take it anymore” Rin huffs.

“Clingy.” Haru says, his tone short and clipped. Of all the things he would possibly describe Sousuke as, clingy wouldn't even _be_ on the list.

“Yeah... And just, everything was always about what I wanted. I could never get the guy to even admit what it was he liked... I know it was just 'cause he was really into me and shit, but, that just made it even worse in the end” Rin sighs.

“He loved you” Haru blurts, the realization uncensored and disturbing to him on many levels.

“Yeah...” Rin admits quietly, staring at his bottle, “But I couldn't love him _like that_ , not like he wanted... I'm really the one who fucked it up, even though I couldn't admit it...”

Rin pauses, and sighs, like he's trying to shake off the past and all the feelings that went with it.

“And now... Now I can't even call him up, I can't drink a beer with the guy who used to be my best friend, 'cause now I'm 'the ex'...” Rin laments.

Haru gets up, using the clearing of their empty bottles as an excuse to leave the room.

He hears Rin still talking to Makoto though, from the kitchen.

“So yeah, that's why I'm so fucking jealous of you guys.”

Haru has no right, _literally_ , no right to be upset with Rin for hurting Sousuke. Especially since he's probably doing just as much damage himself. Because even as casual as they make things, no one likes to be seen as just a _convenient body part_. Haru knows what that's like, that's why you _drink first_ when hooking up, so it's easier to get lost in the moment.

So much of what's happened to Sousuke is all falling into place for him now, all the back story he never asked for. And now that he knows it, he's not sure he ever _can_ ask about it. Why he was sleeping around the way he was, why he's not going into his family's business after all....

“Damn it” Haru swears to himself, leaning over the sink.

He did not mean to _care_ about Yamazaki Sousuke.

“Oi, you ok in here? What's up?” Rin asks from the doorway as he's coming in.

Haru takes a moment to steady himself before answering.

“It's nothing. I just, drank more than I meant to. I have class in the morning” Haru shakes his head.

“You need help getting home?” Rin asks.

The redhead's had more to drink than Haru has, which really wasn't _that_ much, but it's still a rather backwards offer. It would probably be more like Haru trying to keep Rin out of trouble if they walked together.

“I'm good, just hoping for no hangover” Haru explains as he herds Rin back to the living room, “Besides, you should take Makoto's couch here, I don't have anywhere for you to sleep.”

“Man, I don't know why you had to move out. Who's going to make us breakfast in the morning?” Rin grumbles, plopping himself down on the cushions.

“It's not Haru's job to take care of us forever” Makoto admonishes while handing Rin a blanket.

“Yeah, why don't _you_ cook Makoto breakfast as thanks for him letting you crash?” Haru suggests, appreciating his best friend's easy reply.

“Bah. We'll just go out for breakfast then. Haru, you're not invited” Rin sticks his tongue out.

“Spoiled” Haru comments, shaking his head.

As he's walking home, he wonders how much of Sousuke's 'clinginess' was just him overreacting to Rin's all consuming need for attention. It's hard to know if you're interpreting things correctly, when you're that young. Haru would know.

Not that he's so wise and old now...

The next thing he knows, his hand is grasping the smooth metal handle of the art building's front door.

Huh.

It wasn't his intention, but, now that he thinks about it, he's in no actual condition to _sleep_ at the moment.

Running a quick calculation in his head, he decides it should have had time to cure. The rough humanoid shape of his project is so large, that he can't move it on his own. Haru drags a stool over instead, so he's high enough to start from the top. Under his hands, hair begins to take form. It's really the most intricate of the work that will be needed, because of the detail.

It needs to look life like, it needs to capture so much though, that Haru looses himself and gives himself over to the effort completely. The head will be angled just _so_ , the proportions would mean there's a strand of hair that sticks up wild right _here_... He chisels and sands and scrapes the plaster into his desired shape for hours.

Haru tries to decide if he should continue down to the ears once he's done with the hair, since he's _in a moment_ and it's just turning out fantastically, or if he should finally give in to the need for sleep...

“Nanase?”

A girl who's name Haru doesn't know has just entered the studio. He has a habit of remembering his fellow students by the art they've created, and not their names. This girl is ok though, she's making a huge painting of lily pads in a pond for her project. Haru approves.

“Hey” he answers.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asks.

“Early?”

“It's six in the morning...” she points out, like _he's_ the one who's out of it or something, “Have... Have you been here all night?”

“...Maybe” Haru feels a pit of dread opening in his stomach.

He has class at seven thirty.

With every blink, his eyes are feeling more and more weighed down with the knowledge of what he's just done.

This is bad.

Haru leaves the studio right away after that, his eyes blinded by the amount of _light_ outside upon his exit.

He has time to make it home, grab his books, maybe eat something and clean up... It is a blow to him though, that he has only enough time for a _shower_.

But in all honesty, he would probably fall asleep immediately if he laid down in the tub. Haru turns the water on as cold as he can, but the temperature does little to clear his head. He's clean of the powder and dust from his carving, but his sluggish movements mean he actually doesn't get time to eat.

After double checking that he _has_ the assignments with him that need turning in, Haru forces himself to jog from his apartment over to the classroom. Hopefully the exercise will give him a little boost, get his blood pumping and all that.

He has other classes he can skip today, but this and another after lunch have critical grades riding on them. He can't believe he did this. This was why he didn't want to go overboard with the drinking. Not that being tipsy was what made him stay up all night... Stupid _art_.

Outside his class, Haru stops in front of a vending machine. He gets the least offensive energy drink, judged on it's packaging, and chugs it down in two breaths.

Haru does not normally consume energy drinks.

The caffeine in a rum and coke is about as close as he ever gets.

By the end of his class, there's a tremble running through all his limbs that is vaguely concerning to him. _And_ he still feels one overlong blink away from nodding off entirely.

“Wow, you look like shit.”

Haru is not sure he's able to deal with this right now. Or maybe ever.

Sousuke does _go to the same university_ , after all, they do 'see each other around', occasionally. And of course one of those moments would have to happen _now_.

“I- Accidentally didn't sleep in the studio” Haru blinks at him too rapidly.

“And decided to try crack to make up for it?” Sousuke snorts, watching Haru's jerky movements.

Haru shakes his head.

“Energy drink. Wait, is that what's really in those?” Haru asks him, his powers of deduction beginning to fail him.

“Nah, just a shit ton of like three different kinds of caffeine though... Seriously dude, you don't look so good...” Sousuke informs him.

“I feel like my whole body is about to jitter away into another dimension” Haru admits, his hand making a sideways fluttering motion.

“You need to just go to sleep, can't you skip a class or something?” Sousuke asks.

Haru shakes his head, blinking rapidly again.

“No. Japanese Literature. One o'clock. If I don't turn in that paper I will fail college” Haru rambles, “I need to still be in college after one o'clock...”

“You need a nap” Sousuke argues with him, “You're sleep deprived and strung out.”

Haru gives him a look like he thinks Sousuke is trying to trick him.

“Hello, I'm in college too, I know what I'm talking about, dude” the larger man fires back.

“I can't sleep. If I go to sleep right now, I will never wake up again, _bro_ ” Haru grunts, looking fearful of the ramifications of such a thing.

Sousuke stares him up and down for a moment, and then sighs.

“I'll wake you up.”

Haru just blinks at him.

“Come on, I can have you in bed by nine, and get you up at noon. That's three whole hours of glorious sleep... Three and a half if you want to cut it close...” he argues with a tilt of his head.

“I don't know if that's a good idea...” Haru tells him. His instinct is to not give in to the death-like sleep he can feel waiting in the wings for him. Of course, his instincts also told him that a drink with the word 'energy' in it would be _helpful_...

“Ok, look at it this way. You're _not_ making it until one o'clock like this. So either pass out where you're standing, or do it back at my place” Sousuke informs him.

With a tired twitch, Haru lets himself be lead down the sidewalk.

It's a good thing he did, too.

Apparently the half-life of an energy drink decreases in proportion to the length of time you've been awake. When they finally arrive, Haru almost falls asleep waiting for Sousuke to get the door open.

“I guess you might as well sleep in the bed, not like you haven't before” Sousuke shrugs, leading Haru down the hallway.

Haru collapses onto the familiar sheets, and doesn't even bother taking off his jacket. Thankfully his shoes were already removed at the front door. As he curls in on himself, he feels Sousuke's blanket being pulled up over him. The buzzing in his veins isn't quite gone all the way, but it's nothing compared to his exhaustion.

Sousuke is shaking him awake again all too soon.

Haru's bones ache, his joints feel stiff with how hard he slept. But Sousuke was right, the worst of the eye shuttering weariness has abated.

“You sure you're going to make it ok?...” the larger man questions him, handing Haru a banana on his way out.

“Yeah. I'll be fine now. Thanks...” Haru motions with the fruit, letting him know he's accepting both it and the previous help.

“No problem” Sousuke nods.

Haru takes a deep breath, and heads back to campus, crisis averted. He's still yawning every five minutes or so in class, but he's at least able to turn in his paper. He was supposed to work on his art project some more this afternoon, but he figures with what he did last night, he's actually ahead of the game there. Or right on schedule again. Or something.

Without a second thought, Haru drags himself back off campus. There's just no way he can do anything remotely constructive, so there's no point in being there. Even though he's awake enough to function, he's not in a state where people can 'expect' things of him.

When he finally gets home, he can't get the door open.

Ok, maybe scratch that 'functioning' part.

He can't for the life of him get his key to turn in the lock.

Suddenly the door opens on its own though, and Sousuke is frowning down at him.

“Sousuke? How the hell did you get in my apartment?” Haru frowns back.

Sousuke looks at Haru for a moment in disbelief, and then glances down to the keys still dangling in the lock.

“You're for real right now, aren't you?... Oh my god. I can't believe I let you leave like this...” Sousuke says.

“What are you talking about?” Haru sways a little on his feet while they debate whatever it is they're debating. Oh yeah, how Sousuke got in his apartment. “Did you change the locks?” Haru feels like what he's just said sounds kind of ridiculous, but what other explanation is there?

“Haru. This is _my_ apartment” Sousuke says emphatically.

Haru stares at him for a second.

“Oh. … Shit.”

Haru mumbles more expletives to himself and rubs his face.

“Just get in here. You're going to walk out in traffic and get hit by a bus if you try to go anywhere else” Sousuke's words sound like he's grumbling, but his tone doesn't have any bite in it. He pulls Haru's keys out of the lock for him before shutting the door too.

Haru just kind of stands in the living room for a moment, not knowing what to do with himself. Sousuke has books and papers spread all over the couch, so he was obviously studying before Haru arrived. Setting his bag by the door, Haru shuffles into the middle of the room, and just sits down on the floor unceremoniously.

“You can use the bed again” Sousuke points out, as if Haru is not capable of making that deduction on his own.

“If I go to sleep now, I'll be wide awake in the middle of the night. I've got to last a little longer” Haru tells him, staring forlornly at the carpet. It's after two now, so if he can make it just a few more hours, he'll have a much better chance of not completely screwing up his sleep schedule because of this.

Sousuke comes over and sits next to him, giving Haru a knowing look.

“So, what you're saying is, now you need me to 'keep you awake'?” he smirks.

Haru blinks at him.

“Oh. Sure. Yeah, that works” he says, leaning in.

He and Sousuke kiss, and Haru is slowly pushed back onto the floor. He likes this feeling of being covered by Sousuke, being held by him and just...secure. Sousuke's tongue delves into his mouth, and Haru puts up no resistance. He just lays there and enjoys the sensation, not realizing his own movements are slowing more and more.

“Hey” Sousuke says softly, not breaking the contact of their mouths all the way, “Don't fall asleep while I'm kissing you.”

“Sorry” Haru murmurs back, not opening his eyes.

Sousuke makes a tutting noise, and pulls back a little.

“That's just rude, Haru.”

“I didn't say you had to stop” Haru argues, blearily opening his eyes again.

“I'm not going to have sex with you while you're _asleep_. That's just creepy” Sousuke admonishes.

“Well, turn on the TV or something then” Haru sighs.

Sousuke is quiet for a moment, and Haru can feel eyes on him, even though his own have fallen closed again.

“Ok, sure...” Sousuke finally agrees.

Haru can hear the slight hesitance in his voice, and hopes he hasn't pushed the boundaries of their 'fuck buddies' relationship too far too fast with that request.

He's relieved to find he's wrong though, when Sousuke lays down next to him after popping in a movie. The larger man tugs a blanket over them, and pulls Haru to rest against his chest. Haru doesn't say anything at first, afraid to break the spell.

“You're probably going to fall asleep no matter what, so...” Sousuke trails off, as if that explains his proximity to Haru.

“You... Don't have to lay here, after I'm out... You were studying...” Haru offers, watching the start of the movie flash before them.

“It's fine” Sousuke replies easily.

A few seconds later, Sousuke moves around a little, grabbing his sweatshirt off the couch and bunching it into a rough pillow.

“Here, lift your head” he instructs.

Haru does as he's told, but what happens is that Sousuke puts the sweatshirt under his own head, and then slips his arm under Haru's.

The pounding in his chest makes Haru wonder if he really will be falling asleep any time soon.

“How's that?” Sousuke asks him, voice soft, like he can tell just how crazily Haru's heart is beating.

He can't possibly of course, but Haru has to swallow hard before he's able to reply.

“It's fine.”

“Good” Sousuke says back.

They watch the TV for a few more minutes in silence, before Sousuke ventures into it again.

“I guess I should have asked you if you'd seen the first movie in the series, before putting in this one” he comments.

“I hate action movies” Haru informs him.

“Well I'm not getting up again, so you'll just have to deal with it” Sousuke informs him back.

Haru reaches behind him, and pulls Sousuke's free arm down so it's resting over his waist.

“Ok” Haru says softly.

Sousuke doesn't say anything back, but he does squeeze Haru's hand.

 

 

 

“Hey, I know him...” one of Haru's classmates pipes up while he's sculpting.

Considering how many days he's spent making sure the visage was just right, it's a comforting interruption.

“Yeah, he goes here” Haru acknowledges.

With what he's envisioned, the finished work will only be black and white. So it's even more important than normal for the features to be right, because there's no hair or eye color to clue a person in. Not that the specific identity is crucial to the piece, just to Haru.

“That's a pretty ambitious size... Will it be ready in time, Nanase-kun?”

“Yes.”

 

 

 

As soon as Sousuke gets on the train, he can sense the uneasy atmosphere. He's with a couple of buddies from his criminal psychology class, but they don't seem to notice. They blithely continue on with their conversation as Sousuke looks around the car.

It's a fairly empty area, so he's able to pick up on the cause with ease.

On the other end of it, gripping the metal pole as if his life depends on it, is none other than Tachibana Makoto.

“Is it... Kosho?” one of the men standing beside him asks, grinning as if this it just _the best time_ they're all having.

“How about... Chomei?” he asks again when Makoto ignores him.

“Washi?” the second man speaks up, “Come on, tell us your name so we can all start getting to know each other better...”

Makoto bristles.

“I said I'm not interested, now please, just leave me alone” he asks, his voice trembling slightly.

“Baby, you know guys don't really go for that 'hard to get' shit, right?” creep number one replies.

Sousuke knows probably more than he should about all the fluffy kittens really intended for this man, and just how much Makoto absolutely would not want this kind of attention.

“Sadayoshi?” he asks loudly, beaming as he heads Makoto's direction. He keeps his eyes locked on Makoto's, so he can have no doubt he's the one being addressed. Obviously using his real name would be detrimental to the situation.

“Ah, Sousuke-kun” Makoto looks nearly relieved enough at the interruption to pass out.

“Holy shit, man, I haven't seen you since high school” Sousuke claps hands with him, standing just as close as the other two shouldn't be.

Creep number two frowns at Sousuke, but Sousuke ignores him completely.

“It has been quite a while” Makoto sputters, not seeming to want to let go of his hand.

Sousuke grips the pole Makoto's holding too, putting his hand just above, but not touching, the nervous man's.

“Ok, just for old time's sake, how much are you bench pressing right now?” Sousuke grins, taking over the conversation.

“Bench pressing?... Oh! Um, actually, I'm only around a hundred kilograms right now...” Makoto says apologetically.

“Seriously? Man, you better not start letting yourself go... Me, I'm up to a hundred and fifty” Sousuke says with a cocky attitude.

Makoto nods.

“You've always been very fit, Sousuke-kun...”

Creep number one takes that moment to try interrupting him back.

“Listen buddy-”

“Hey guys” Sousuke talks right over him, “Get over here and meet my old friend” he calls with his head tilted only part way behind him. He lets his eyes catch briefly with those of the lead creep, Sousuke's look promising he's not going to let this go.

As his friends head toward him, Sousuke guides Makoto to let go of the pole and join them about halfway across the car.

“I can't believe we ran into this guy here, what are the odds of that, like a billion to one?” Sousuke says, introducing 'Sadayoshi' to them.

“Ah, I don't think there's quite _that_ many people in Tokyo” Makoto chuckles a little, obviously feeling infinitely more comfortable in their group.

“Well, true... But with everyone moving around and stuff, that's got to up the difficulty” Sousuke bullshits, just to have something to say.

“Oh... I guess it might... Are you a math major, Sousuke-kun?” Makoto asks, taking his comment seriously.

“Nah, criminal justice, actually” Sousuke shrugs.

After they all talk for a minute, he sees the two men who had been harassing Makoto leave the seats they had sullenly taken once their prey escaped.

“Shit, have you gotten even taller since the last time I saw you?” Sousuke asks, “No _way_ you're taller than me now.”

“Ah, I did grow a couple centimeters, but you do still look a little taller” Makoto blushes like he's embarrassed of his height. And maybe he is.

“Alright, you guys measure, tell us who's taller” Sousuke pulls Makoto to stand back to back with him, effectively putting himself between the man and the oncoming harassers.

Sousuke stares them down while his classmates argue over who's hair is fluffier.

“I think I was one eighty five, last time I checked...” Makoto offers as they're being examined.

“Ha, I'm one eighty seven, I totally beat you” Sousuke declares, not taking his eyes off the pair.

But the two men just stand at the doors for a moment, waiting for them to slide open. As soon as the train stops, they exit, and Sousuke breaths a small sigh of relief.

When Makoto turns around, Sousuke can see his slight frantic edge at not being able to locate the men in the car.

“It's ok, they just got off the train” Sousuke tells him right away.

“Oh, thank god... Sousuke-kun, thank you so much” Makoto looks like he may break into tears at any moment.

“It's no problem, any time...”

“I was beginning to get really scared” Makoto admits, “Normally I'm fine on my own, but, there were _two_ of them, and, they were being so, so _pushy_...”

 _Pushy_ is not the word Sousuke would have used to describe it, but that's just him.

“So, when's your stop?” he asks, trying to keep the conversation going so Makoto doesn't have a chance to completely break down.

“Oh... I think it was four or five ago” the brunet blushes, “I, didn't want to get off, in case they tried to follow me... I was starting to worry I was going to end up cut to pieces in a suitcase...or _worse_.”

“Hey, you did the right thing” Sousuke tells him, putting a hand on Makoto's shoulder. “You stayed in a public place, where they couldn't get away with too much. Also, just so you know, if you ever think you are being followed, you can go to the nearest koban or police station, instead of home” Sousuke points out.

“Oh, that's a good idea, Sousuke-kun” Makoto nods, brightening a little.

When Sousuke's station comes up, he tells his friends that he'll have to catch up with them later. Makoto doesn't look too keen on being left alone at the moment. Plus, there's the small, extremely unlikely chance that those guys are still hanging around on the trains, and would run into Makoto again... Well, lets just say Sousuke wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything actually did _happen_.

So he makes sure Makoto gets home alright, though, he refuses any sort of compensation, _especially_ in the form of food.

“You know, it really is a shame we don't all hang out more, with going to the same school and all” Makoto tells him after thanking him for the hundredth time.

“Uh, yeah, I guess...” Sousuke blushes a little, “You never know, things could change...”

He shrugs at the end of it, not offering any further detail as to his meaning.

Makoto frowns slightly, starting to open his mouth to ask for more, but Sousuke interrupts him.

“I really should get going, catch up with my friends and all that” he says as if it's in his defense for leaving so suddenly.

“Oh! That's right, I didn't mean to keep you, Sousuke-kun” Makoto apologizes, “And thank you, again, so much.”

Sousuke nods one last time, “No problem” and is finally released back out into the night.

He's fairly sure Haru is going to be busy dealing with comforting Makoto from _all that_ for the rest of the night, once he hears. But it's ok, Sousuke really does have plans with his friends anyway.

In thinking about it, as much as the smaller man will wish he'd been there with Makoto, Sousuke's kind of glad he wasn't. With Haru's protective tendencies, he probably would have attacked the guys and ended up being the one arrested instead... Sousuke chuckles to himself as he walks, imagining Haru pouncing on those creeps.

That's another thing that he likes about Haru. Sousuke doesn't worry about him, he knows Haru can take care of himself. It's kind of odd, maybe, but it's like, the fact that he doesn't _need_ Sousuke, is part of what makes Sousuke want to be wanted...

 

 

When Haru leaves Makoto's place the next morning, his palms are itching. His best friend in the whole world was surprisingly put together after the incident, considering what he went through.

Thanks to Sousuke.

But Haru isn't, for some reason.

Haru has three classes to get through today, then he can immerse himself in the studio. He has one more arm to finish defining properly, before it will be ready for the finishing touches.

Haru only makes it through one class, then screws it, and heads for the art building.

He can feel the tools in his hands. He can smell the chalky dust in the air.

He can't get Sousuke out of his head.

This space, the 'studio' itself, is a communal place, for people working on large projects. No classes are taught in it, so it's always available. That doesn't mean it's always empty, though. But in Haru's mindset, an audience or lack thereof right now is irrelevant. It's really happenstance, lately, that's been having him put most of his hours in at night.

He grabs the tools he needs without making any eye contact, and sets to work at a nearly furious pace. _Care_ is needed with this sort of thing; Haru's being far too reckless, and he knows it... But he also knows what he's doing. Knows the plains and curves of this form all too intimately...

And before he knows it, he's sanded the last tricep smooth, and is standing back in fear.

“Nanase-kun... It's, amazing” one of his classmates says.

“I can't believe you finished it...” another comments.

Quiet murmurs of appreciation flutter through the room, which is fairly full this time of the afternoon. It _is_ a beautiful piece. The proportions are nearly flawless, because Sousuke's are. The ripple of muscles and cut of chin are nearly god-like, because the statue _is_ Sousuke... At least his upper half, anyway.

“It's not done” Haru says, his voice sounding far away as he examines perfection one last time.

His classmates blink, and nod, because they don't understand.

“Can you help me get it onto the floor?” Haru asks Seiki, who agrees right away.

He had the skeleton inside helpfully mounted to a base before the plaster was added, so it's just the weight of it that he needs help with, it's really not too cumbersome.

Once it's on the floor, Haru stares at it, letting himself be captivated for one more moment.

The pose is Sousuke pulling himself out of a pool. Surely an odd one, to those not familiar with the sport. The moment that Haru has chosen to capture, of course, is the one where the man's shoulder gives out on him, and pain laces through his face. The injured arm is raised gingerly, to the point where his entire weight would be supported by the other.

His head is turned away though, as if rejecting the pain, rather than focusing on it.

Haru picks up his hammer with shaky hands.

As he positions himself behind the statue, because he can't look it in the eye when he does this, most of Haru's classmates go quiet.

“What are you doing?” Seiki asks, concern filling his voice.

“It- It's ok” Haru tells him, raising the implement, “He's strong enough to take it.”

Haru's heart tells him to stop this madness as he lets the first blow fall, barely producing any damage.

He shouldn't be doing this, he can't _do_ this.

But he can't stop.

Tears appear on his face as the first real cracks shoot through the shoulder.

He hits it again.

It's dead silent all around him.

When the first shards fall, he stops, sniffling like it will help him hold on to the last of the illusion that he's still a decent human being.

He's gone too far, but yet not far enough.

The wound needs to be bigger, big enough to consume the piece with it's presence.

The cracks need to reach as far as possible without compromising it's integrity entirely.

So Haru swings again.

After a few more strikes, something in him tells him to stop, and check what it looks like from the front.

Haru blows out the dust and rubble, wanting as jagged an impression as possible, and takes a few steps back.

He's glad he stopped when he did.

The shoulder itself probably isn't going to get much better than this, as far as existential wounds go. But it's the cracks that run outward from it that are true perfection. Their twisted claims run outward, down the arm, up the neck, one even reaching so far as Sousuke's chest...

 

Haru drops his hammer, and cries.

 

For the rest of the session, the studio is completely quiet, as far as human speech goes. Haru takes the inkiest, blackest acrylic he can create, and traces it delicately along every imperfection. Every broken ridge of the shoulder is topped with it, the cracks etched with it just enough to make them _stand out_.

Then he takes his brush and fills in one of Sousuke's eyes with solid black, the one closer to the wound.

By the time he's sprayed it with a clear sealant, to both preserve and give it more of a semi-gloss finish, Haru is completely empty inside.

Everything that his artistic soul was capable of has been poured out now.

And apparently it wasn't beauty that was inside him.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Haru is probably as torn and distraught as he has ever been before.

He hasn't seen Sousuke for three days, which isn't actually out of the ordinary. But in the past, it wasn't because he was avoiding him. Haru also hasn't seen _Makoto_ for three days, since the day he finished the statue. That _is_ highly unusual, but, he knows the moment Makoto lays eyes on him, he'll be able to see the crisis of conscience going on inside Haru.

Deep down, he knows the work he's created is spectacular and _moving_... His whole class was brought to stunned silence by it... But, he also has a very clear understanding that this will _hurt_ Sousuke.

And yet, Sousuke has to know.

Haru has to tell him, show him what he's done, before the exhibit takes place and he hears it from anyone else.

Haru is not a coward, he just doesn't want to do this, so he puts it off as much as possible.

Fatefully, Sousuke ends up texting Haru to come over with only one day left between then and the gallery's opening.

There's nothing Haru can say but 'yes'.

As soon as Sousuke opens his door, he smiles at Haru in a way he really has no right to yet. _Yet_. And now, possibly, will never want to again. Not once he finds out.

Haru practically lunges forward, and kisses him.

Large hands move to sit securely on Haru's hips, fingers taking liberties to kneed lower. Haru makes a little noise into Sousuke's mouth, signaling how much he likes it. The hands slide down to cup his ass after hearing it, warm and possessive and covering the entire thing.

When their lips separate for the drawing in of air, Haru murmurs with his eyes still closed, “I... Don't feel like drinking...”

“That's ok...” Sousuke assures him, pulling him further into the room. “If you don't mind, we, could change things up a little...”

Haru blinks, and waits silently, letting that be his way of asking for more detail.

“We could, just, take our time...not rush through it...” Sousuke suggests, sounding two hundred percent like he's confessing.

Haru is a coward, and a selfish one at that.

Sousuke's hand moves to the back of Haru's neck, his fingers running up into dark locks, his thumb brushing along Haru's hairline.

“Ok...” spills breathlessly from Haru's lips, before his conscience can keep it down, say all the things he needs to, and ruin everything.

Sousuke kisses him again, and draws Haru into the bedroom. It's like the whole room and experience is made new by him entering the door with his clothes _still on_. They don't stay that way of course, but it's a novel moment.

Haru lets Sousuke undress him, pay attention to him. He kisses over Sousuke's skin like he's diving in, preparing to be one in nearly the same way he would with the water.

Haru is empty inside, and he needs Sousuke to fill him.

Fill up all the lonely corners and desolate landscapes, pour through him and wash away all this self doubt and inadequacy.

Because as much as he tries, he can't imagine being worth enough to the larger man, for forgiveness to be given him. All he can do is let him have this moment, of completion, of perfection, before Haru dashes it all to the ground.

Sousuke pushes into him slowly, letting Haru feel each increase in the intrusion. His pace stays achingly measured like that...purposeful...loving... It feels more intimate than any sex Haru's ever had before. Dividing his attention, Sousuke takes in all his reactions intently, and then presses his lips to Haru's in the midst of the act.

When neither of them can take it any longer, Sousuke brings himself together with Haru a little more quickly, stroking Haru firmly at the same time. The fact that it's so gentle a pleasure stuns Haru. He and Sousuke have practically made a _lifestyle_ of liking it hard, so the fact that this is bringing him to the edge with such ease is shocking.

Haru doesn't mean to cry when he comes, but, he thinks it might have been inevitable.

No one has ever made love to him before, after all.

He's never betrayed someone like this before either, after all.

Sousuke wipes at the moisture on Haru's face with the backs of his fingers, and looks like he's about to speak. So Haru cuts him off as quickly as possible.

“I need to show you something” he says suddenly, his voice rough.

Sousuke raises an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Haru takes a deep breath to explain himself, and finds that he can't, “I mean... I just need to show it to you. Right now.”

“Haru...” Sousuke says his name in a questioning tone, like he can't quite believe whatever Haru wants is _that_ important, to interrupt the moment _now_.

But it is.

“Please, I just... I need you to see it, before you hear about it from anyone else...” Haru insists, pulling himself up to sit. Sousuke moves to sort of half kneel at the end of the bed, looking at Haru questioningly.

“You make it sound like it isn't something sitting in your bag in the living room...” Sousuke comments, his face passive, “Why would I hear about it from someone else?”

“Because... Because I used you... For my year end project...” Haru admits, dread filling his face.

“What do you mean, you _used_ me?” Sousuke asks, going still.

“I didn't _use_ you” Haru says adamantly, “I just... I used _you_...” he quietly corrects, feeling small and shameful.

Sousuke's look shifts to worried.

“Used _me_ , how?” he asks next.

Haru can't explain it though, there are no words in any human language that will accurately describe the volume of thing he's done. That's what art _is for_.

“You have to see it, I can't...I wouldn't even know where to start” Haru admits and pleads all at once.

Sousuke leans back a bit at that, taking a deep breath, and letting it out in a telling exhale through his nose.

“Please” Haru asks, reaching over to take Sousuke's hand in his.

Sousuke looks down at their hands, and strokes his thumb over Haru's skin a few times before he replies.

“Um... Ok. I take it we're going to the art building then?” he confirms after a moment. He looks more hesitant about the way Haru's acting than about whatever he thinks Haru could possibly have done.

But that's only because he doesn't know.

“No... Everyone's pieces have already been moved to the gallery...” Haru tells him.

Sousuke just nods, and they both start to dress.

Haru steals Sousuke's sweatshirt to wear, as if it's presence might help remind them that really, they're both fuck-ups, for what good it might do. Sousuke doesn't say anything to dissuade him from using it. Haru shoves his hands in the pockets as soon as they get out the door, and keeps them there the whole time. As much as he wants 'everything to work out', he doesn't think he could handle it if Sousuke tried to hold his hand right now. So he removes the option entirely.

The walk over is tense.

They go in through the faculty entrance, off to the side and out of the public's main view.

Various students' works are already lined along the walls, ready for the showing. Haru is both disgusted and proud that his piece, _Shattered Dreams_ , is the last of them, the focal point at the end bringing the whole artistic journey to a head.

Before they've gotten halfway across the hall, it's already caught Sousuke's attention. He continues to walk toward it robotically, as if pulled by a string. Haru is too guilty to say anything at first, so he just goes quietly along, until they're both standing in front of it.

Sousuke stares in silence, though the emotion in the room is so thick it feels like screaming to Haru. Sousuke doesn't say anything, doesn't move, doesn't try to touch it or see it from a different angle. His angle is already more intimate than anyone else's ever could be.

“I'm sorry” Haru spits out in a quavering voice, “I started it before I knew...that...I loved you...”

He can feel the wet tracks of tears over his face, and his traitorous nose is starting to run. The sniff is involuntary, yet as quiet as he can possibly make it. He wipes at his face with an overlong sleeve, needing clarity, needing this to not be the last time he ever gets these sleeves wet.

Sousuke hasn't looked over at him though. He's transfixed by the dark pull of the plaster, his face stuck somewhere between sadness and hatred.

“I'll understand, if you want to break it, if, you don't want anyone to see” Haru offers quietly, “Somehow, I just, I couldn't _not_ finish it...”

Something in that statement seems to finally break the spell. Funny, that it wasn't Haru's horrible choice of a first time to admit to his feelings. No, it's the method of resolution he suggests, the irony, the bitterness of how it won't _undo_ the fact that the art or the life happened this way to begin with.

Sousuke takes in a breath through his nose, quickly, like he's in physical pain and trying to tough it out.

His voice shakes when he finally speaks.

“Is this how you see me?” he asks, head only half turned to Haru, gaze resting on the polished floor between them instead.

Haru hears himself responding truthfully, before he can think any better of it.

“It's how you see yourself.”

Teal eyes flash over Haru's face briefly, _anger_ suddenly radiating off the larger man as he spins on his heel. Sousuke's striding from the room with a pace Haru has to run to match, but he catches him before an escape can be made. Before Sousuke can walk out of his life forever.

“I'm _sorry_ ” Haru means it more than he's ever meant it, because this wasn't an accident, and yet he couldn't stop himself.

When he grabs onto Sousuke's jacket to keep him from leaving, the man pivots around, turning the tables in a flash. The shift is so quick that Haru's being backed up, forearms gripped by Sousuke's hands before he realizes what's happening.

“How did you get in my head?!” Sousuke's desperation sounds like yelling at this close range. Haru's back hits the wall of the display, somewhere between the lily pads and the image built out of high heels.

“How did you get in my _heart_?! You're a horrible _person_ , Haru” Sousuke asks, declares, demands in a strained tone.

But he looks taken aback by his own words at the same time. Deep down, Haru knows, just _knows_ , it's not for the admission of loving him back. Suddenly Sousuke releases Haru's arms, letting his own drop to his sides at the same time. Sousuke shakes his head the slightest bit, as if retracting the insult spoken in anger. It's a gesture Haru would have missed, if their eyes hadn't been locked on each other's.

“I'm, I'm sorry...” Haru tries again, “I'll break it for you, if you can't do it yourself.”

He makes the offer because he knows how disconcerting it must be, for Sousuke to see his rawest self laid bare in the sculpture.

Sousuke makes a disbelieving noise, shaking his head in a more pronounced manner this time, sounding resigned.

“It's already broken” he points out, tone weary and shoulders slumping after he motions toward it.

“No. It's _perfect_ ” Haru implores, his whole being surging forward as his voice cracks. Sousuke looks shocked to find Haru's hands cupping his face, looks almost _hurt_ at the force of Haru's conviction.

“You...” Sousuke furrows his brow, but can't find any words.

“You're more perfect than _I'll ever be_ ” Haru fills over the silence of Sousuke's hesitance.

“Neither of us are perfect” Sousuke contradicts him.

“But, you make me _feel,-_ ” Haru finds his throat constricts around any further words, cutting them off. It makes a choking sound, and he covers his mouth in embarrassment, tipping his head down to get out of Sousuke's direct gaze.

In front of him, Sousuke lets out a long sigh, the kind that seems full of eternal suffering.

“Haru... Hey, look at me...”

Fingers gently tip Haru's face upward.

Haru does his best to wipe at his cheeks quickly before their vision aligns again.

“...I do understand...about the art...how it works...” Sousuke tells him, features tired but relaxed. “You're the one who taught me, it's about emotion, remember?”

“I didn't do this to hurt you” Haru tells him earnestly, “The idea just, _hit me_ , and, it was just...” he makes a helpless motion with his hands, because they're really the culprits who couldn't be stopped here.

“Poetic” Sousuke finishes for him, giving him a knowing stare.

Haru blushes, but doesn't look away.

“...Yeah...”

Sousuke nods, accepting the appraisal quietly. It's his life they're talking about, after all. The silence is just starting to become thick, when he turns away from Haru and walks back toward the statue.

In his mind's eye, Haru can already see the pattern the chalky pieces will make as it crashes to the floor.

But Sousuke stops short.

He stands and stares at it for a long time again, long enough that Haru is unsure what to do with himself, and finally goes to Sousuke's side.

“Why black? Wouldn't red be more realistic?” the taller man asks, his eyes raking over the jagged cracks.

“It wasn't meant to look like blood. It's a different kind of pain...” Haru answers him softly.

Sousuke nods.

“What's with my eye?” he asks next, his face betraying more concern for that than the overall coloring.

“It's because what happened tainted your view of the world, or rather, it changed it” Haru corrects himself. He doesn't think of Sousuke as tainted, not at all. “You see things differently now... You, don't take stuff for granted, like, like some people...”

Sousuke gives him a look that's pointed, but his mouth is soft, taking some of the edge off of it.

“It's beautiful. It... I don't think I really look...” Sousuke trails off.

“You do” Haru says firmly. “I mean, not the shattered parts... But the rest of it, that's _you_.”

Sousuke gives a disbelieving chuckle.

“Don't tell me you have a bunch of creepy stalker photos of me from every angle” he says. A small smile, more of a smirk, plays over his lips as he circles the statue, presumably to judge how well Haru captured him from the back.

“I didn't use photos, my hands remembered” Haru says in a matter of fact tone.

Sousuke looks like he was just slapped.

He comes back around the statue, eyes trained on Haru now.

“You have so much, god damned, _fucking_ _talent_ ” he says, almost sounding worked up again.

Haru doesn't back away though, he lets Sousuke come as close as he wants.

The giant of a man gets right up in front of him, invading Haru's space in a way that shouts 'confrontation'.

Haru doesn't know what to say though, so he waits for Sousuke to speak.

“If we do this, are you just going to move on when I don't _inspire_ you anymore?” Sousuke asks bluntly, waving a hand in the air toward the statue. “Because if so, I need to know up front.”

“Do?... This?...” Haru's heart stops in his chest, because it just can't believe what his mind is telling him he's hearing.

“Be together” Sousuke says, like he's expounding on multiple meanings for a study group, “I want to be with you, but... I'm no _muse_. I can't be that for you.”

It's a casual, factual statement, but Haru can feel the emotion lurking behind it.

“This, only happened because you helped _me_ understand... I, was never looking for _that_ ” Haru assures him, referencing the _artistic urge_. “I fell for you, because what we have, it's nice. It works for us, and, fuck it, I love just being with you, you ass. It has nothing to do with-” Haru gestures toward the amalgamation of plaster and pain. If anything, if he and Sousuke can end up together after this, it will be in spite of Haru's 'inspiration', not because of it.

This should be the part where Sousuke kisses him, charged with emotion, and maybe they have sex in the gallery afterward.

But Sousuke doesn't kiss him.

He just does more of the staring he's already done so much of tonight.

“It's weird to me” Sousuke finally breaks the silence to tell him, “That being part of your life, means so much of mine will be on display...”

“I can't promise I'd never paint you, sculpt you again... Only that I wouldn't do it for others, if you wanted... Not for a grade, or a gallery” Haru offers, knowing he'll never be able to resist reproducing the form of those shoulders, the shape of those eyes again.

And speaking of teal eyes, the ones in front of him, the real deal, they _soften_ in fondness.

“You really mean that?”

“Of course.”

Sousuke nods, stealing a sideways glance at the statue of the hour.

“I guess I should just be glad this one's only from the waist up” he says with a sigh. The smile at the end of it makes it a playful one though.

“Well, if I'd done the whole thing...no one would believe me” Haru tells him, letting himself smile just the smallest bit in return.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure my dick hanging out would detract from the _statement_ ” Sousuke snorts, shaking his head at their innuendo.

“Oh, it would still be a statement, just a very different one...” Haru feels as if a release valve in his chest has finally been opened, and the pressure is starting to drain away.

Sousuke grins at him, and puts his hand on the back of Haru's neck, brushing his hairline with a thumb.

“Am I going to be invited to the grand opening?”

Haru's eyes widen.

“I know it's not exactly my kind of scene... But I figure, pretty much the only way I can ever live this down, is to grab the bull by the horns” Sousuke says seriously.

Haru snorts.

“I'm pretty sure that's a mixed metaphor...” he snarks before he can catch himself.

“Fuck metaphors” Sousuke tells him, leaning down toward his face. “I'm going to kiss you now, ok?” he states softly, more as a warning than an asking of permission.

Haru licks his lips, and nods.

He can feel Sousuke's thumb stroking the hair behind his ear as their lips meet. It's so warm, it's so consuming in its importance, because Haru was afraid it would never happen again.

And just like that, a flash of understanding hits Haru.

 _Intimacy_ , just like inspiration, can't be forced. It can't be mimicked or faked. Once you've had the real thing, the knockoffs are obvious. This is the thing he would never admit to chasing in all those one night stands. To have someone know him, and understand him, and love him anyway.

Sousuke's simple touch, gentle kiss...they send a ripple of elation running through him that isn't even necessarily sexual.

“I'd love it if you were there” Haru tells him as their lips part, not forgetting the question.

“You better stick close, and not dump me with a bunch of uptight art snobs” Sousuke makes sure.

“No problem” Haru nods, squeezing Sousuke's hand.

“And unless you want me showing up 'in character', you're paying for my tux rental too” he adds.

Haru laughs, his eyes wavering with a happiness that's all the more sweet for there having been such a slim chance at it.

“I don't suppose you'd believe I'm broke?...”

“I'm not actually wearing just a swim suit to your art show” Sousuke says with a sigh.

“Who said anything about a swim suit?” Haru throws back.

Sousuke shakes his head, and smiles to himself.

“You know, if this isn't going to be 'just about the sex' anymore, the only other things in our relationship are sarcasm and cats” Sousuke tells him semi-seriously.

“I know” Haru nods, smiling happily, “It's going to be great.”

 

 

 

Rin fiddles with his pony tail occasionally as they walk. Makoto's slight nervousness translates more into the form of a non-stop narrative.

“-And I know he's been so nervous about this, it'll mean a lot to him that we're here, even if he doesn't say it. Thanks for coming, for doing this, Rin” the brunet gushes.

“Yeah, no problem. I should get used to this schmoozing thing, being an up and coming international swimming star anyway” the red head replies.

The area around the university's gallery is fairly busy, with quite a number of people heading for it. Many are students, like themselves, but some are older adults as well. Probably alumni or art enthusiasts, Makoto thinks. The people their own age are dressed nicely, but not necessarily in _evening wear_ , like the others...

At the door, they get a discount on admission for being students, even though Rin's student ID is from another country. Makoto wouldn't necessarily call what he does to get it 'sweet talking', it's more just the way Rin naturally is. Plus, he really is a student.

“So, should we ask around to find out which one is Haru's, or just look for anything mackerel shaped?” Rin asks, poking his elbow into Makoto's ribs as he jokes.

“I think we're supposed to start over there, and work our way toward the back...” Makoto points out, dismissing Rin's fishy humor.

“What? You mean we have to look at all of them?” the red head makes a put-out noise.

“It would be rude to ignore the others and only look at Haru's” Makoto chides, just in case Rin is being serious.

“Oh, do the two of you know Nanase?”

Makoto is pretty sure the man addressing them is the dean of the entire art department.

“Ah, yes, we're childhood friends of his, sir” Makoto says politely, giving a small half bow.

Rin just nods in agreement with Makoto's statement.

“It's so good of you to come, Nanase is one of the most talented artists to come through this school in quite a while. I wouldn't be surprised if his piece sets a record tonight” the gray haired man tells them.

“Record? For what exactly?” Rin asks, even though it's not his competition.

“Well, the pieces are bid on throughout the evening, with half of each sale going to the art department's fund, and the other half to the artist themselves. A statue of that magnitude is rare, it should fetch a high price, based on the amount of interest it's generated.”

“Statue?” Rin blinks.

“No wonder Haru's been so busy...” Makoto muses.

“You mean, you haven't seen it yet?” the man asks, “Well, I'll tell you, I completely agree with his professor's staging for once this year, Nanase's piece is at the very end... It's more of a _work of art_ than anything else in here.”

The hushed tone and conspiratory leaning in of the man's posture at the end of his statement give away just how much he's probably not supposed to be declaring such a thing out loud.

Makoto and Rin just nod though, and the man excuses himself to go speak with another group of guests.

With one look at each other, they both decide to give in to the curiosity.

Bypassing the rest of the gallery, they head straight toward the back, though it's slow going due to the number of people.

“I can't believe how crowded it is in here... I'm not sure this is even _safe_ , what if there was a fire?” Makoto worries as they thread their way along.

Rin snorts.

“Well, don't stop to cook yourself a snack or anything along the way, and we should be fine.”

“Ha ha, very funny, Rin...” Makoto replies, “You know, I can count the number of incidents that involved actual _flames_ on only one hand.”

“I- … I wouldn't brag about that, Makoto” Rin tells him in all seriousness.

When they finally reach the center of the commotion, as quiet and respectful of a commotion as it is, both of them are stunned to silence.

Rin recovers first though.

“Holy _fuck_ ” he says with feeling, looking concerned at first, and then increasingly angry.

“...Unlikely,”

A familiar voice is picked up by Rin's, and Makoto's, ears at that moment, made easier by the fact that they're now thinking of Sousuke.

“ _But_ , if it doesn't sell... I'll give you, like, a hundred yen for it.”

They're just in time pinpointing his location to see the fake disinterested shrug he gives to the man he's conversing with, which is _Haru_.

Haru stares at him with a frown on his face.

“What are you going to do with a statue of _yourself_?” Haru asks almost scathingly, as if that level of narcissism is just completely unbelievable to him.

“I don't know... It might look good on the kotatsu” Sousuke says lightly, not able to hide the smile of his teasing.

Haru snorts, and laughs.

Haru _laughs_ , in front of everyone, his posture easy and happy.

Makoto watches their interaction with his mind working overtime. Rin starts to step away form him, obviously making in their direction to confront this. But Makoto puts a hand on his arm, stopping him in his tracks for a moment.

“Rin... Sousuke is a hundred and eighty seven centimeters tall...” he says softly.

Rin frowns at him.

“What the hell are you talking ab-” Rin starts to question, but then it obviously hits home for him as well, because he abruptly loses speech. He raises an eyebrow at Makoto for suggesting such a theory. Makoto's eyes widen, and he gently shoves Rin's arm, tipping his head slightly as if to say 'look behind you again'.

When Rin turns around, Sousuke is leaning over, giving Haru a very chaste, very meaningful kiss, and Haru is blushing like a god damned school girl.

Haru takes Sousuke's hand afterward, and just _holds_ it.

Rin and Makoto both move forward at the same time, not needing to speak to agree on it.

“Who said you could just kiss me like that in public?” Haru is asking, not taking his eyes of Sousuke. There's no venom in his words though, it's a challenge for challenge's sake alone.

Sousuke motions with his free hand in the direction of the statue, as if presenting it.

“Uh, I think _that_ says I get to kiss you where ever I want now” the larger man counters, making a rather valid point.

Haru has just opened his mouth to reply when suddenly Makoto and Rin enter his field of vision. Whatever he was about to say falls out of his brain entirely.

“Makoto, Rin... I, didn't know you guys were going to be here...” he blinks, his blush only getting worse.

Sousuke gives an appropriate 'guy nod' of acknowledgment in their direction, and says “Hey”, covering them both with that.

Neither of the two dark haired men let go of the other's hand.

“ _So_... I take it, it's _official_ , now” Rin crosses his arms over his chest, eyeing their clasped hands with a knowing smirk.

Makoto beams, “I'm so happy for you, Haru-chan, and you too, Sousuke-kun!”

Sousuke nods, the implications of them 'knowing things' becoming obvious.

Haru just squeezes Sousuke's hand, and coughs out a, “Thanks...”

“We should all hang out, get dinner together after the show is over” Makoto suggests, “If that's ok with everyone...”

“That's fine with me” Haru indicates, but then turns a questioning gaze on Sousuke.

“As long as we can change first...” Sousuke comments, running a finger under the collar of his bow tie. At that moment, Sousuke catches Rin's eye, and is surprised to see him with a mix of hopeful happiness on his face. “...Then yeah, it's fine with me” he concedes to the group hang-out.

“Cool” Rin nods.

Once they're all in agreement, there's a small lull in the conversation that's only semi-awkward.

“So, what does the twenty eight stand for?” Makoto asks Sousuke, tipping his head in question.

Sousuke frowns at him, looking confused, “What?...”

“Makoto!” Haru practically hisses, trying to both yell and keep his voice down all at once.

Rin starts _cackling_ with laughter beside them, and Haru juts an arm out, practically sticking his finger in Rin's face.

“We are in a public place” he declares in the same too loud, urgent whisper, as if reminding and threatening the red head all at once.

“Twenty eight what?” Sousuke asks Makoto, calmly ignoring Rin and Haru's antics for the moment. Makoto is startled at the chaos his question has caused, and answers Sousuke hesitantly...

“Centimeters, maybe? That's, just, how Haru had your contact in his phone... Twenty eight out of one eighty seven” Makoto says almost apologetically.

“Oh god, _please_ tell me that's a real measurement you took while he was passed out or something” Rin gasps through his laughter.

Sousuke turns to face Haru, and gives him a flat look.

“That's how you saved my contact?”

“Um...” Haru answers, blushing from the base of his neck to the roots of his hair.

“You're unbelievable, you know that?” Sousuke shakes his head, keeping the flat look, but not sounding _upset_.

Haru bows his head momentarily, apologetically, bringing his gaze back up to Sousuke's with repentance in his eyes “I may have been told that before...once or twice...”

Rin continues to snicker, and Makoto stays quiet, still not sure what he did.

“You know, when I said I guessed I should be glad this statue was only from the waist up, I _thought_ I was joking” Sousuke says dryly, continuing to rib Haru over it.

And that's enough for Makoto to suddenly put it together.

“ _Haru_ ” he says, frowning at his best friend, disbelief on his face that Haru would be so, so _crass_.

“Yeah, _Haru_ ” Rin adds mockingly, still trying to control his laughter, as if he hadn't known immediately and this entire time what those numbers in Haru's phone had stood for.

“I'm sorry” Haru says sarcastically, as if being forced to apologize by an adult or something, raising his hands to give a general sweep toward all of them. He crosses his arms over his chest afterward.

“Change it right now” Makoto admonishes him, frowning.

Haru sighs, and pulls out his phone.

“Ah, I'm sorry, Sousuke-kun” Makoto apologizes with a hand on the back of his neck, for being the one to cause it to be brought up in this setting.

Sousuke watches Haru blushing profusely while tapping away at his phone, and wonders what his new contact name will be now...

“It's ok, I forgive him. It's really not that big a deal” he assures.

Sousuke catches Haru's eye as the phone is being tucked away, and they both can't help but smile.

They take each others hands again, and don't let go.

 


End file.
